


Rai of the Revolt

by dearlyfetching



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Complicated Relationships, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends, Existentialism, Gen, Identity Issues, Mental Health Issues, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Personal Growth, Self-Insert, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23957380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearlyfetching/pseuds/dearlyfetching
Summary: When it comes to opposing empires through collective dispute and maintaining one's identity as an outsider in a turbulent narrative, every choice counts.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've always been fascinated by the concept of self-inserts and the serious questions it could inspire within a narrative, particularly when incorporated with a sense of realism...depending on the source material. Given that CG is one of my favorite anime of all time and filled with so many ideas and missed opportunities that either weren't explored or outright ignored, I wanted to try my hand at something like this.
> 
> ...and let's be honest self-inserts get a horrible rep, so let's see if I can do a decent job.

The dictionary defines the term _ripple effect_ as the continuing and spreading results of an event or action.

Yeah, that sounded apt.

Consider the range of a ‘What If’ scenario and how far it extends before you either come to accept the abnormal reality you’ve found yourself adjusting to, or you reject it entirely on the premise alone and demand answers you might not ever receive. Which alternative do you choose? Is there a middle ground to balance everything out? For me, what made it easier to deal with was that the reality chosen had been something I was familiar with; a previously established continuity so I wasn’t as befuddled as I could’ve been. It wasn’t anticipated but small comforts were better than none. Frankly, I’m amazed that my mind hadn’t snapped from the revelation.

What I’m saying may be concise according to myself but should come across as entirely impossible and completely ludicrous to anyone who hasn’t experienced it firsthand. Few individuals could properly articulate the metaphysical. Of course, it doesn’t make any sense. Things in life rarely do – be they large matters or small, but I can understand the general fortified logic that comes with functioning in a world bound by the laws of physics and millions if not billions of years building up to the acceptable status quo. Trust me, I do.

However, for the sake of coherency, I should probably start from the beginning.

-

Nothing is certain in a dreamscape; usually everything is all a blur once you wake up. Certain reflections of reality can be distorted, confusing and fooling you into wondering whether something is truly a memory or a fabrication. However, the sensory input to this experience felt less like a dream and more like a drug-induced haze.

“W-what is this?” my voice slurred and distorted to my own ears “where am I?”

I felt weightless, limbs floating in a void while the prickling sensation that accompanied numbness settled in. I saw colors; hues of pale green stretching and twisting like the veins of a circulatory system in all directions of an endless sea of blue. One color just as vivacious as the last until I was surrounded by nothing but white. It was blinding to my tired eyes; I could feel the lids drooping and the hand that came to obscure my sight felt heavy and sluggish. I was at a loss for how to function.

This felt familiar, eerily so.

I hadn’t realized that I was standing until my body registered the distinct flat press of the ground beneath my feet. My legs did not feel like my own; joints aching from an exhaustion I hadn’t remembered enduring. It was terrifying. A voice amplified by echoes of itself spoke as images continued to flash in sequence around me.

_‘Experiences and the actions of such define who you are.’_

Planets aligning, squeezing the unspeakable brightness of the sun in between them. I squinted, utterly bewildered by this strange stream of consciousness. I couldn’t come to any concrete answer that would explain what was happening to me. Had I fallen asleep and all of this was a dream or was I amid an unfortunate fever? Either way, I couldn’t enjoy myself. In fact, I was starting to panic. There was nothing amusing or captivating about this.

_‘But actions have consequences.’_

An abundance of feathers scattered across space and time. And now the universe sought to school me on basic morality. It didn’t escape my notice, thinking of the worst possible outcomes. Perhaps I had died, and this was the limbo or afterlife that people experienced once the body finally shut down and could no longer function in the world it was born into. Speaking of which; I didn’t feel secure in my own flesh, I couldn’t even tell if it was real. What was the point? Why was I here? What was going on?

_‘Do you shoulder the weight of those very consequences?’_

A symbol carved in stone, ancient people of civilizations long before my time bearing the same symbol, the surface of Jupiter…or was it Mars? Had I seen that before? With all the stuff that I bore witness to, it was difficult to tell if there weren’t any repeats, as if it were an endless cycle.

_‘Or do you deny them?’_

A girl. More accurately, a woman with impossibly long hair stood before me in the blinding vastness of wherever we were. Save for a few strategically placed locks, she was nude. Both of us were nude. Her shadow, a dark contrast to the whiteout of everything else, it stretched along the ground beneath us. For her part, the woman didn’t seem particularly bothered by what was happening. If anything, her expression showcased nothing but cold apathy as she stared right at me. It didn’t take long for me to realize that she was the one speaking. The voice that resounded so clearly in my head and around the space we currently occupied, it was hers. Even so, it didn’t forestall any apprehension regarding my unique circumstances. My heart continued to pulse, the beating present in my eardrums as well.

_‘Can you hold yourself accountable?’_

An inversion of color as we stood apart from each other. What she was asking, I made some attempt to piece together the meaning behind her words. Up until she had appeared before me so unceremoniously, I hadn’t given much thought to what was being said. Even as the words themselves were being spoken, her mouth didn’t move, her lips didn’t even twitch. Her voice carried from everywhere else. No ceiling or sky to determine our location, just a ground that supported our weight to stand. It all felt so abstract. Could I hold myself accountable for what, for my actions? People usually did. Well, they should on most occasions, I was no exception to the rule. Puzzled, yet morbidly curious to see what would happen next, I nodded.

“I have to.”

_‘Will you?’_

Focused and without missing a beat as if she could detect a wavering in my decision to answer. Huh, the universe suffered no fools. Only fitting as I was being judged. This I should’ve expected. Not a game, but a trial I was unwillingly taking part of wherein I wasn’t certain of the rules, the overall point and informed of my purpose. Granted what little consciousness there could be, I knew what I wanted. Survival. I wanted to wake up from whatever this surrealist nightmare was. None that I had ever experienced were this lucid before. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that in the interest of my own personal safety, I answered the way I did.

“Yes, I will.”

The cranking of machinery, gears clicking together with finality. That seemed to be the clincher, the conclusion. I may as well have been numb to the world, for I hadn’t realized where my journey was headed or what was happening to me. It didn’t even occur that everything had steadily vanished, fading to black as my eyelids fell closed.

It came to an end and I sunk into the void of slumber.

-

With awareness returning, so did the feeling in my fingers.

However, it did not dissolve the ache that ran its course throughout my body. Better than what I supposed would’ve been if the pain were fresh. It felt like awakening from a nap after an overwhelming day of work. The lingering twitch of my fingers soon became a curling- flexing even. I gave my toes a wiggle as well and enjoyed the feeling of cool air on my skin, which I assume must’ve been a window I left open before falling asleep. It was odd, whatever dreams I’d had, I could never remember the details of after I woke up, but that one was so vivid that I could almost make out the images of such. If only it weren’t so blurry in my mind. It had me wanting to write it down somewhere. There were times when dreams were mixed with memories, making them indiscernible from each other, but I knew for sure that something so abstruse couldn’t have been real. Maybe it was the reason why I could feel just the faintest tinge of pain, like a headache dissipating at last. The grogginess was always a little too unpleasant for me, so I did my best to pull myself out of the sluggish state with my body feeling so heavy.

I didn’t remember exerting so much beforehand, so why did I feel sore? Unless I had worked- no wait, what _had_ I been doing before going to bed? Was that even the last thing I did before closing my eyes or was I in the middle of something? There were moments, I could recall entire conversations with people, strong emotions in moments that prompted such but they all seemed so far away. Nothing felt recent. Every time I tried to revisit a memory before the present, it was obscured, completely blank.

Vision didn’t come easy, once my eyes had opened I was greeted by a startling brightness that had them closing tight after mere seconds and me rubbing my hands over my face. Fluorescents, always a pain to endure. That and strobe lights. It was fortunate that I never had epilepsy. In any case, determined as I was to wake up feeling refreshed- the bathroom being my first and foremost destination of importance, something felt off.

Despite the decries of skeptics; human beings displayed an intuition at either the most convenient or inconvenient of times in history. An abstract sort of sensation- perhaps a sixth sense, had me at a pause once my eyesight became clear. I hated being right. The bed was not mine, the walls were different, the ceiling was unfamiliar. There was nothing like an empty coffee mug, discarded socks or any signifiers that comprised of who I was and what my tastes were. Every bit of detail that constructed the room I was apparently asleep in did not belong to me. It was not a place I had ever been before. From above to below, I was lost.

It brought forth a sense of unease, being unable to determine where I was plucked at the strings of fight or flight. The way everything looked, it wasn’t even a bedroom. The curtain drawn overhead just at the end of what was apparently a simple cot. So, either a hospital, clinic or nurse’s office? The sun peeking through the blinds of a window to my left suggested midday or afternoon. In my life I remained relatively safe; outside of a few bumps and bruises that came from a boisterous but appropriately vigorous childhood, I had never been placed in a dangerous or hostile situation. No abductions to speak of, nor did I know anyone who suffered the same fate. I was fortunate enough to live a life that did not include the jeopardization of my own safety, family tragedies weren’t incredibly high if I were to apply a statistic. I wasn’t raised to be sheltered, my own curiosity getting the better of me on occasion; falling asleep at a party or a friend’s house maybe, but nothing as bizarre as this. The whole thing felt abnormal. Legs shifting beneath a thin blanket had me glancing down at myself only to be faced with a strange assessment of…well, I wasn’t certain.

I guess it was nice to be gifted with any sort of blanket and in a place that looked so docile, maybe I wasn’t stuck in some sort of hostage situation or whatever. Still, the dread was beginning to set in as I tried to swallow, no luck with my throat dry. I needed water, preferably to halt the nausea I was beginning to feel and if I was put in a nurse’s office or anything like it, then there would be a bathroom around at least. Settling on that, I moved to climb out of the bed when the sound of muffled footsteps made me pause. They were accompanied by an indistinct conversation growing closer, I couldn’t say for certain what was being said until there came an odd hiss and I could make out silhouettes expanding behind my curtain. The conversation while clear, still didn’t make sense to my ears.

“I’ll never understand your affinity for these elaborate events.”

“Oh relax, your face will get stuck like that if you don’t smile every now and then.”

“I do smile, just not when you’re around.”

“How mean. After all I’ve done for you.”

Before I could formulate any sort of decision, the curtain was jerked back. An unlikely sight to be greeted with, especially when I was lost in context. A boy and a girl. Students, if their uniforms were anything to go by, confirming my previous theory. However, the uniforms looked awfully familiar. Of the girl; a blonde with bright blue eyes that made me nervous to meet her gaze for some reason, though her smile was a little disarming. The blazer she wore was a solid cream color with golden trim, accompanied by a charcoal grey skirt followed by brown loafers. Of the boy; dark-haired and thin- wiry even, wearing an expression far serious than anyone should be around his age or so. He wore a blazer and slacks the same charcoal color as his friend’s skirt but also tailored with gold trim. It was secured with a matching belt around his middle, but his loafers were black. I would’ve thought nothing of the two under normal circumstances, but the boy’s eyes were the most alarming aspect of him.

Lavender

“Oh good, you’re awake!”

Personal space didn’t seem to be an issue for the girl who strode right up next to where I sat, relief in her expression as she looked me over. I suppose I could’ve ruled out an abduction at that point, but still I was mentally searching for any sort of rationalization. Remembering my manners, even amid the most bewildering of situations, I could only give a slight nod. Not for lack of trying, a lump had been building in my throat, but I tried my best.

“Y-yeah.”

“You were out for two days, I was beginning to worry that we’d have to send you to a hospital.”

“Which we should’ve done in the first place,” the boy added.

“I wasn’t about to abandon him like that!” she chided “we found him on school grounds, that means he’s our responsibility.”

School grounds. A promising clue, even so-

“Um, where am I?” I ventured.

Their attention back on me; the blonde sat herself down on my cot, a gesture that had me sitting up properly. Their voices, the way they spoke to one another, so informal and like something I’d witnessed before. It made sense for close friends to speak to each other in such a way. However, their overall appearance struck me as significant. It really should’ve hit me all at once. Perhaps the surreal dream-like grogginess hadn’t left my consciousness just yet, which in retrospect- I was somewhat grateful for. Still, the realization had to land eventually.

“You’re in Ashford Academy.”

...and with that, suddenly the nausea became stronger, replacing the headache I had before. It might’ve sent me into a dry-heaving fit what with the amount of information I was trying my best to comprehend. Maintaining hope for an elaborate joke might’ve been a shot in the dark, completely in vain. My friends weren’t the sort of people to do that just for the reaction of another person. I was running out of logical conclusions in rapid success instead of facing the one that was presented.

“It’s a boarding school, given how big it is. You wandered in just two days ago, although I’m surprised you managed to get in past security.”

The next thing that left my mouth was a weak “what?”

The girl tilted her head “You don’t remember?”

I shook my own, a decidedly unwise option for how light and airy I suddenly felt. I steadied a palm against my forehead for good measure.

“Hey, are you okay?”

No. No, I was not. Collecting myself seemed like the best option in this situation, but when faced with impossible odds, all I really wanted to do was find someone or something that could affirm my own sanity or realign the universe to what I knew it to be. Freaking out in front of the two and demanding answers wouldn’t benefit me. Was going back to sleep an option? I had to keep my behavior in check, lest I place myself in an even worse situation. As it were, the only thing I could hope to achieve was the look of a deer in the headlights.

“We found you near the swimming pool, looked like you passed out.”

“What were you doing there?” the boy spoke up “sneaking in like that is suspicious on its own, and then to be unconscious-

“Don’t be rude,” she waved him off “oh, I almost forgot introductions. I’m Milly, Milly Ashford. The brooding one over there is Lelouch.”

No introductions necessary, I knew who they were thanks to the help of late night programming blocks that showcased anime. In fact, knowing as much as I did about the people in front of me felt creepy. It was a major invasion of privacy that I shouldn’t have been entitled to. She offered her hand, to which I returned to shake as courteous as I could with my trembling hands. I didn’t have a firm grip, something about touch made my skin crawl, though it was no fault of her own. Were I in a healthier state of mind, I probably would’ve been more adept at expected social behavior, but as it was, I could barely hold on to the present.

“So then, you’re- this is your school, right?”

Her smile widened “Correct! It’s in my family’s name. My grandfather is the headmaster here. Good thing we were the ones that found you. It’s almost like fate itself brought us together.”

I grimaced, fate had a funny way of being inclusive. Might need to have a chat with the Moirai about that later.

“May we know your name?”

Blinking, I considered the question posed. Presented with a choice, I had to operate on quick thinking alone. Even in this outlandish situation, be it dream or reality, I couldn’t just give away my identity. These two may have been familiar just by prior knowledge on my part, but they sure as hell didn’t know me. Running a hand through my hair, I chose the first name that came to mind.

“Rai.”

Milly nodded “so then, where did you come from, Rai? You don’t look like a student. Is there someone we can call?”

Sure, maybe my family, the police, a psychiatric ward. All reasonable questions. Questions I didn’t have the answers to. I was just as much in the dark regarding that information as they were. Of course, I would like to know how I got here and why. Who dropped me off and were they coming to pick me up anytime soon? Otherwise, I was stuck in the middle of a cosmic joke.

“I-I’m sorry,” I tried “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Lelouch interjected.

“I don’t remember.”

“That’s convenient.”

Brows pulled together as I frowned. I knew _that_ tone. Me turning up at a school already warrants suspicion, but when considering the perspective of someone like Lelouch, he would be keen to deduce that something was amiss with me. The last thing I wanted was him hunting me down and demanding answers in a not so friendly fashion. With that in mind, I put on my best befuddled performance.

“I guess? It’s just, I’m trying to think of anything that makes sense and all I can come up with is my name. Everything else just feels like…like it’s blurry.”

Not too far from the truth, which may have disarmed him to a degree. A small sigh of acceptance was all that was given until Milly garnered the attention of us both.

“You poor lost thing! Now it would be even more cruel to just throw you back out on the street, which is why you’ll be staying here at Ashford.”

“What?!”

A well-timed exclamation from Lelouch and I, which may have been comedic were it not I in this situation.

“Madam President, you can’t be serious. He needs a doctor at the very least if he can’t remember anything.”

“I agree,” I added “I wouldn’t want to impose on you guys, anyway. I should just, you know, get checked out by a professional instead.”

The very last thing I needed was to become a charity case or someone else’s burden, let alone another hapless bystander in a series that was rife with collateral damage. Such thinking brought back a wave of nausea.

“Besides, wouldn’t it be cause for concern? Housing a stranger to-

“Absolutely not! The cries of a person in need won’t be ignored on my watch!” she proclaimed.

I winced at that. She really was one for the dramatic. Lelouch however, only shrugged as if this were expected.

“It’s best not to argue with her and I speak from experience. Once she gets like this, it can’t be helped.”

Glancing back towards Milly, I half-expected her to give me a cunning look – a Cheshire grin like the ones she would regularly give to her classmates and fellow student council members when she was up to something or knew information others didn’t, if most of what I remembered (a mildly difficult feat in my current state) was correct in any case. However, the expression that she wore suggested benevolence. An expression that held understanding with just a twinge of pity. For a moment, I was willing to believe that I’d be secure. Though it wasn’t a hospital, educational facilities offered outlets of care to its students by licensed adults granted the position to tend to them. As stressed as I was, the sympathy from the blonde was recognized and appreciated. And yet, operating on a sliver of logic, I held the firm belief that something like this should’ve been left to professionals. It was the kind of societal conditioning I was used to.

As cautious as I was to go anywhere near the Britannian authorities (given the collective sentiment), I figured that maybe there were some reasonable adults who could set me up with a social worker or permit a phone call to an agency. I wanted to argue this point; if only to remove myself from the scrutiny of Lelouch and Milly’s occasional forays into mischief around the school. Despite the almost ridiculously poetic lines she spouted previously however, I had the feeling that Miss Ashford in question was genuine about keeping me in a safe environment. Could I really rebuke the hospitality of someone who had found me unconscious and sheltered me during the days I was asleep?

Damn it.

“…alright, I guess.”

“Good,” Milly chirped “I’ll go tell my grandfather that you’re finally awake, he’ll be relieved to hear it. We’ll want to get you enrolled soon, so I’ll see about rooming and eventually a class schedule. Oh, and there’s the matter of a uniform we need to figure out, not to mention the student council…”

High school, the bane of my existence. Right smack dab in the middle of a time when teenagers were either blissfully ignorant or forming their own identities while battling the conflicting nature of puberty. At a boarding school no less! I was beginning to regret my decision immediately. I thought those days were behind me and all I had to do was worry about rent. Apparently not. Milly didn’t seem to notice my discomfort in the moment, she’d stood up from the bed, already intent to use whatever power she had for what I assumed was the benefit of helping a “lost soul” and while I looked to Lelouch for help, the most he could give me was a half-hearted shrug before being pulled away by his bubbly student council president. It had only been mildly amusing to hear her babble on to him as they left, but the moment the door was closed with a hiss, I was left to pick up the pieces of my shattered reality.

I had my doubts of it being a dream. A dream within a dream. Although my mind was a bit scrambled, I could just tell throughout all the conflicting emotions that everything clicked into place. The reason it felt real was because that’s how it came to be. The setting was as solid as were the people. Nothing was an abstract concept that couldn’t be visualized or touched. Physical forms held true. Somehow, I transitioned through the boundaries that separated fiction and reality, leaving me nothing but dumbstruck. What had happened, actually happened. The awe might’ve come later if I was more open to accepting the truth.

Dragging my hands down my face, I couldn’t help but groan.

Someone or something was messing around with my life and I didn’t appreciate it. Not one bit. It felt appropriate to scream myself hoarse. A pillow wouldn’t do it and I doubted the campus hosted a soundproof room. Were I to unleash a continuous scream, that would only worsen my situation. With my legs growing restless after what I assumed was hours of unconsciousness, I finally got to stand up from the cot. Socks met the smooth floor, boots I didn’t remember wearing apparently sitting comfortably at the end of the cot while what looked to be the dress coat to a navy uniform was draped over the frame. Whatever, I wasn’t too concerned to care. My destination was the bathroom. Rolling up the sleeves of my shirt and opting for a minor stretch of the arms, I ventured around the spacious nurse’s office.

Nose wrinkling at the hint of antiseptic disguised under freshener. Medical facilities always contained a tinge of the sharp-scented stuff, no matter what reality, apparently. To the Ashford’s credit – the room itself looked far better than the average school clinic. Obviously, they had money to spare expense in presenting themselves as more professional. I didn’t see anyone at the desk. I was left alone. Frowning, I meandered for a few seconds before slipping in through the labeled door of the bathroom and locked it behind me.

Straight for the sink, I relished in the cool water. A simple turn of the knob and I was drinking from the tap. Public sink, not a fountain. School water. Highly uncivilized. Not that I gave a shit at that point, I was only satisfied to have the cold crisp fluid trickle down my throat and the splash of it on my face. It certainly did the trick of waking me up. Honestly, I should’ve been grateful that I woke up in the first place. Considering going back to sleep earlier, I now felt as though that wasn’t exactly the correct line of thinking.

What if I _hadn’t_ regained consciousness? Then what would happen? Would I have been stuck in an endless void for the rest of my life or cease to exist altogether without thought or feeling? I shuddered. Perhaps I could find something else to distract myself while staying at Ashford, just to shake off the dread and keep me from having an existential crisis. Forsaking one of the nicer-looking towels, I found a dispenser of paper instead. Wiping my face off and throwing away the used material into the nearest bin, I looked up.

Goddamn it.

It then struck me why Milly found it appropriate to enroll me as a student of Ashford. One look in the mirror and everything that I had been holding back since waking up had been emptied along with the contents of my stomach into the toilet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

I hadn’t been prepared for a day of revelation.

The face that stared back at me was not my own. Well, it _was_ , but not the face I had been born with and known for the entirety of my life up until now. No, this stranger was a pale-faced youth sporting an oddly smooth complexion; free of any freckles, moles, or acne that one would normally see on a young adult. This face was free of any blemishes whatsoever, just bare skin which lie neatly over the brow, slid down the curves of a sharp nose and strong jawline. The eyes were a truer blue than I’d ever seen before and would deny the possibility on a normal human being. He might’ve appeared unassuming if not for the head of silver hair. Not grey, not white. **Silver**. Right down to the roots. As if it were the most natural thing in the world – which it wasn’t, not to me. Such ‘perfect’ features strayed too far into the uncanny valley for my tastes.

A furrowing of peppered brows which complimented the hair in a slightly darker shade, widening round eyes before squinting and blinking, wrinkling of the nose, flaring the nostrils and even a twist of the lips. Yep, voluntary motor functions confirmed. So, not only was I without direction in this unbelievable setting but inhabiting the body of what I assumed was some manner of minor character, if they could even be called a ‘character’ in the truest definition.

Well, certainly not in this context.

Truthfully, I didn’t know much about him – or was it _me_ in this case? It had been a while since I watched the entire series from top to bottom; and while I was aware of there being subsidiary material (as there was with many popular franchises) or other than what I could gather from skimming through the forums, any other characters or plot points outside of what the central focus was, were for the most part lost on me. My reflection looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him anywhere in the series proper. He had to have been someone or else the name wouldn’t have come to me so easily. It was a suitable match to the face. Whatever the case, it didn’t matter. Although considering what an ironic twist of fate this was, I couldn’t help but chuckle. A bit of humor – or _hysteria_ to alleviate the tension. Better to laugh than to scream. I’d look like a lunatic either way. Discarded in the middle of a reality I had no business being in with the amount of knowledge pertaining to certain people, places, and events. Given the tiniest bit of information; a hint or a clue, I could determine within reason the reaction of someone depending on what I chose to say. The whole ordeal felt like a strange work of fiction.

“Cheap, wish-fulfillment fiction,” I muttered.

Five minutes of dry heaving had followed my unfortunate bout of sickness. It may have been a side-effect of whatever existential and dimensional gobbledygook I was experiencing. Although I was glad to have let it out for the time being so that I wouldn’t have any accidents later. However, my little episode hadn’t gone unnoticed as the moment I finally left the bathroom, Lelouch was standing just outside. I froze, halfway embarrassed that he likely heard my retching, further illustrated by the mix of curiosity and apprehension on the nurse’s face.

Ah, so there _was_ someone on duty.

It was a school after all; I suppose there had to be more than five staff members, though I doubt it counted for much with the students periodically running rampant. I grimaced under his gaze, unnerved to meet those lavender eyes for fear of being compelled by that mystical Geass symbol.

“Sorry about that,” I tried for an apology.

“Well, I can’t exactly blame someone in your position,” he waved me off “here.”

He held out his hand, in the palm were two small tablets. Now, any rational-thinking person wouldn’t go accepting medication in whatever form offered by a stranger – be they teenager or adult. However, in the presence of a licensed physician who looked on with mild interest, I figured that it wasn’t an attempt on my life or any intent of ill-will.

“They’ll help with an upset stomach.”

I nodded a ‘thanks’ before gingerly taking the offered items and quickly swallowed them with a swish of water from a small paper cup he’d procured. Just as prepared as he always seemed to be.

“Milly’s still with the headmaster to work out your living conditions for the time being. She left me in charge of giving you a _tour_ – saying it’d be better if you didn’t stay in one spot for too long.”

As if I wanted to be confined to the nurse’s office more than I had been. Good call, madam president.

“Shall we go?”

“Hold on,” I held up a finger.

I wasn’t going anywhere without the items I had on me. It would feel more than a tad irresponsible to leave my new body’s belongings lying around. So, for the sake of courtesy (and maintaining appearances) I took a under a minute of quick redressing before glancing over at a patient Lelouch. He’d been watching me carefully and sent an affirmative nod before motioning to follow. Really, what other choice did I have?

Stepping out into the halls of Ashford Academy was much akin to entering the halls of a hotel. I’d never gone to a boarding school before, stuck in the trenches of public education, so I wasn’t used to the institutions looking so refined and well-furnished. The halls weren’t as crowded as I expected them to be, which prevented any residual claustrophobia I might’ve felt. In fact, if standing adjacent, at least five to six students would’ve easily been able to walk in a straight line down the hall. I did, however, take care to avoid the eyes of others who were present and questioning the company of a stranger with the student council vice-president.

Everything from the patterned ceiling above to the tall crystal-clear windows bearing Ashford’s stylistic fleur-de-lis was exquisite, even the floor was smooth and without scuff marks. It had me believing that more than enough money was being poured into keeping the school presentable. I doubt there was any concern for health inspections. I hadn’t considered the layout of the school before, given that so many other exciting things were happening, but from a production standpoint, I assumed that someone had to make the location appear as high-class as it should’ve been. It made sense that this was a primarily Britannian school and most of its students had to be from affluent families.

“The Ashford’s are philanthropists,” Lelouch began as if reading my mind “so it’s no wonder they would dip their toes into funding educational pursuits and services.”

“They have more schools like this?” I imagined an entire chain of Ashford Academies scattered across the homeland, maybe even other areas.

“Mn,” he nodded “it’s profitable on their end, so many noble families are willing to invest their funds into a prestigious school that’s predominantly within the demographic of Britannian rather than the Numbers.”

Though he neglected to mention their fall from power when he was disinherited, probably out of a soft spot he still held for them if not their charity. That is, _if_ he still held a soft spot for anyone who wasn’t his sister.

“Numbers?” I played dumb.

“Ah. You’ll have to excuse my language. While it’s terribly coarse, you’ll hear that thrown around on occasion since we’re not in the homeland.”

“No?”

Once again, I was on the receiving end of that eerie stare as he’d glanced my way, though Lelouch did well to keep at a solid pace. No replication by contacts or photo editing could quite capture how realistic was the lavender of his irises, which I had to remind myself was because by definition: he _was_ real. Looking at him was an experience that by comparison to simply viewing an animated character on screen was undefinable. I couldn’t find the proper words to articulate my astonishment.

“Numbers is a derogatory term for the native populace that now live in countries re-established as ‘Areas’ and colonized by the Britannian Empire. The one we’re currently located in is Area Eleven. Understand?”

“How…how many are there? Areas, I mean.”

“Far more than necessary.”

His tone was clipped, indicating the bitter resentment he carried with him towards Britannia, head full of a multitude of ideas concerning how to dismantle the imposing empire. Meanwhile I was preoccupied with refocusing much of – if not the entirety of my perception, while content enough to get a good look at my new home away from home. In the halls there were a couple more students, some who took notice of my tour guide. We turned a left corner and journeyed down another level on green carpeted staircases guarded by varnished wood railing. I kept close to the wall and took care not to look out of the tall windows until we were on a ground level. Even after the insane journey through universal metaphysics, heights still unnerved me. Fortunately, Lelouch hadn’t noticed my irrational fear, he was too busy going on about the layout. The Ashford’s thrived due in part to the sparse academic competition there was in Area 11. I did catch a pair of girls whispering to themselves as we passed by. It was only a glance their way that halted their hushed tones and made them move along.

How could I forget?

More than a few of the female students found him attractive (some to a truly worrying degree) which was only difficult for me to believe given how much I already knew about his personality and emotional imbalance. That _anyone_ wanted a piece of this guy was puzzling to me. At least attractiveness was subjective and greatly varied among everyone, even within the context of a different reality. However, catching some of the girls loitering with their friends outside of classrooms, I was astounded to see such fondness for Lelouch expressed in lingering looks.

Huh, better him than me.

Most harem anime often chose the most uncreative looking male protagonists in stark contrast to the females and just ran with it from there. While from a certain perspective, Lelouch did have a European quality to how he looked, (a credit to his lineage maybe) he wasn’t as intriguing outside of his eyes. One would think that with the input of a studio like CLAMP, he’d be looking less like a recycled character design and maybe a little more noble or heroic, something to make him stand out more.

I paused, remembering the wild silver hair in the mirror. Apparently, I won the lottery in that regard, so who the hell was I to talk? Having an eye for detail was something I’d been credited on before, but this kind of detail- silver and so integral to who I would remain for however long this would be. Ugh, once again, straying down that path of thinking was going to wear me out fast.

“Hey,” Lelouch’s voice snapped me out of my reverie. I looked up to find him several feet away with a look of mild annoyance.

“We still have lots of ground to cover, so come on.”

I may have been lagging too much, impressed by the scope of the school while comparing everything that I could make sense of. In my defense, it was one of the few things I could do while attempting to get my bearings on the whole predicament.

“Sorry,” I made quick work of the distance between us.

Thankfully, the nausea disappeared and the ache in my legs from days of neglect began to follow suit now that I was making use of my muscles. Any questions I had regarding the school’s regiment had been answered by my trusty tour guide. I wouldn’t admit it aloud but Lelouch deserved some credit for having an eidetic memory, as he had lived here for so long. Hell, I barely remembered where I put my coffee mug on occasion, but to memorize the entire layout of a school? I couldn’t decide whether that was talent, showcasing a degree of OCD or preparation bordering along a fine line of paranoia. Our journey took up much of the day as we had gone everywhere from multiple courtyards to the clock tower, onto the roof, to the gymnasium and even the boy’s locker room.

Much to my own astonishment, the both of us hadn’t been called aside by any of the staff members. I figured due to Lelouch’s strange position of authority as a council member and a model student, but I could understand why anyone would be curious to know why a fellow classmate was leading around someone dressed in an officer’s uniform and was not enrolled in the system… _yet_. Hopefully, I didn’t look too weird that I couldn’t blend in for a while. If worst came to worst, then I would have to conceive a way out that wouldn’t endanger anyone or tarnish potential trust. I was late in realizing my guide had come to a stop and nearly stumbled into him before finding my footing.

“Are you sure you don’t remember anything?”

He sounded unconvinced, just as I assumed. Lelouch wasn’t one to suffer many fools; he was meticulous in just about everything he did with few exceptions. This meant that I had to work hard to avoid his suspicion for any and every reason. Just another example of why I should’ve insisted on declining the offer to remain under the care of the Ashfords.

“N-nothing. Nothing at all.”

“It’s just strange,” he turned to face me “there weren’t any external injuries when we found you. No bleeding or open wounds. Ashford’s security is quite sufficient, so excuse me if I find it a little unbelievable that you managed to sneak in.”

“I wasn’t- I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Do you remember what happened before you woke up? Where you were, what you were doing. Anything you heard or saw could be helpful.”

“Helpful for what?”

“In figuring this out,” his lips pursed.

I had the distinct feeling that nothing I said would’ve appeased him, but for the sake of maintaining some manner of integrity – if not secrecy, I stood my ground.

“Look, I’d appreciate answers just as much as you, which is why I’d rather go see a doctor or someone who can explain all this to me. It’s way too confusing and I’m doing my best to follow along here.”

Waltzing into the school half-conscious was not of my own volition. It could’ve been a product of the universe’s attempt at incorporating my presence in this frame of reality, which could’ve aligned with the actions of the real Rai. Situating me into this story – no matter what the method, didn’t make it any less mind-boggling. On a more practical level, I could understand the safety cautions of engaging with an unknown individual entering school grounds. _That_ did appear more incriminating and Lelouch was entirely justified in his defensiveness where Nunnally was concerned. In fact, I was surprised that he hadn’t used his Geass on me by now – though I did make sure to avoid direct eye contact. Still, I noted the slight shift in both his expression and body language, transitioning back into the student rather than the disgraced prince before he spoke again.

“Well, there goes my attempt to jog your memory.”

I blinked “Um, thanks?”

More like an **interrogation** than an offer to help.

He turned he back to me, walking at a leisurely pace that would allow me to catch up “We should get going. Milly and the others are probably waiting for us by now.”

I didn’t have the heart to argue with the guy. Maybe at some point when I wasn’t still suffering the effects of separation of reality, I’d be able to put up a more convincing argument. For now, I simply followed, ready to leave all suspicion behind.

-

The sun was just beginning to set upon the horizon when we made it to the entrance of the student council room. I certainly didn’t know what to expect. Waking up to be greeted by Milly and Lelouch was bizarre enough. Seeing them in the flesh instead of lines drawn together and translated to pixels to create the illusion of moving pictures, this was something else entirely. Lelouch entered through the sliding automatic door and motioned me in with a small nod of the head. No turning back, I took the first step over the threshold.

Oh. They were _all_ there.

Gathered around the far left of a long table where faces I had come to know for over two seasons, some more appreciated than others, which made for being the center of their attention more than a bit awkward.

“There’s our guest of honor!”

The collection of student council members stared curiously, glancing between Lelouch who came to stand at my side as the door closed behind us, to myself. It was Milly who took the charge of introducing me.

“Everyone, this is Rai. He’s going to be our newest addition to Ashford as well as a member of the student council. Do try and make him feel welcome.”

Soft smiles and a series of introductions followed with colorful commentary here and there. I smiled with the easygoing (and honestly refreshing) Rivalz, who also gave me a clap on the shoulder. I did notice Suzaku’s brief correction from greeting via traditional Japanese bow to a handshake instead, the guy had a strong grip. Shirley was rather adorable in her earnestness – prompting a minor twinge of guilt on my part, hoping to avoid thinking too much of her eventual fate. Perhaps I could make up for the time and attention that Lelouch neglected to give her.

Hm, that would require more thought later.

Meeting Kallen had drawn a wider smile upon my face, an expression that incited momentary confusion in her gaze before she simply nodded in return. I couldn’t help it, getting to meet the ace pilot sent a giddy thrill through me. A tenacious girl who didn’t settle for getting the short end of the stick, she was tough as nails and had her heart in the right place. In a lesser series, she might’ve just been relegated to the tsundere type with little substance. Accounting for Nina who stood off to the side; away from her computer yet furthest from the center of the group, well…I maintained an air of pleasantry – doing my level best not to appear as intimidating for risk of upsetting her.

Despite Suzaku’s company, I had the feeling she was no less xenophobic and ill-mannered when it came to the rhetoric of Britannia’s social politics. Part of me felt a stab of pity for her, the type of person who was subjugated to the brainwashing of her superiors into thinking and behaving a certain way. Those kinds of people would unfortunately exist no matter what the reality I lived in. Still, it didn’t excuse most of her actions later, especially concerning what would happen to the Tokyo Settlement. Once again, confronted with this knowledge felt equal parts unfair and intrusive, a violation of privacy of they were none the wiser. This position I was left in, the perversion of power made my skin crawl. I was struggling to maintain a façade of blissful ignorance as well as careful consideration among my new peers.

“If you’ve got any questions, comments, or concerns, come to any one of us,” Shirley beamed.

“Except for Rivalz,” Lelouch added “there’s a reason we don’t let him balance the budget.”

An indignant ‘hey!’ from the navy-haired boy earned a few chuckles around the room. I was astonished to see Rivalz mouth what had to be a derogatory word under his breath in the other boy’s direction, but the way his lips curled in a smile, I knew it was all in good fun.

Huh, interesting.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a fountain of knowledge.”

“I don’t think mixology counts on an academic scale.”

“Technically-

Shirley rolled her eyes. I must’ve looked utterly lost because she was quick to clarify: “he’s got a part-time job as a bartender.”

“Ah,” I nodded.

As I sat down with them, the conversations fluctuated between the council’s priorities, classwork and occasionally finding its way back to me as the subject of interest. Truth be told, I hadn’t expected to be this welcomed and included, rather something more along the lines of a wacky school comedy. But even with knowing how ludicrous the world around me really was, the simple company of a couple high school kids going on about their daily lives was comforting. It made me think just for a moment that this _was_ a dream, that maybe this wasn’t so bad and all I had to do was just relax, enjoy the ride so to speak.

Then something brushed against my leg.

Startled, I pulled out of my chair and looked down to face the thing that had jolted me out of my thoughts. A feline of questionable color and markings inched closer and sniffed at my pant leg before pressing his face against my ankle.

“Oh, that’s Arthur.”

Suspecting discomfort, Suzaku made his way over to retrieve the cat from nuzzling up against me. I could already see the little hairs sticking onto my slacks. I forgot that the stray cat lived in the school, must’ve missed out on the whole ‘catch the cat’ fiasco that had the whole student population running amok. There was a part of me that would’ve liked to have seen that. However, it did indicate where in the timeline I arrived at.

“Cute little guy snuck in while no one was looking,” Milly strode over and stroked his ear “had a sprained leg. It didn’t feel right to just let him go.”

“You mean like me?”

The silence I was greeted with was deafening. Glancing around, I saw the other’s faces reflecting astonishment and embarrassment. Well, it was true wasn’t it? To say that I was a ‘stray’ wouldn’t be too far of a stretch. Perhaps it was a bit on the nose and needed little highlighting. Just for the sake of easing the tension, I let slip a nervous chuckle.

“Looks like the guy’s got a sense of humor,” Rivalz was the first to recover “way to go.”

I shrugged “Well I-

“Gah!”

I knew even before glancing back at the cat in question had bitten Suzaku. In fact, I’d been waiting for it. Wriggling himself out of the boy’s grasp, I was surprised to find him trotting his way back to me, of all people. Couldn’t animals sense when someone or something was amiss? I half-expected the feline to break into a fit of hissing and spitting in my general direction. Nope, he was content to greet a new person. Or maybe he was just hungry.

“I think he likes you,” said Kallen.

“I haven’t seen him act like this around newcomers,” Suzaku flexed his bitten fingers.

“Maybe he’s gotten used to having others around,” said Nina “this is a school after all.”

“Oh, is Arthur feeling playful again?”

The small voice that chimed in was the only one who wasn’t accounted for among the introduction of the other council members. Nunnally. I had almost forgotten about her but quickly deduced that the reason she had shown up late was probably due to the young girl’s classes. Even a private academy had to regulate class schedules between grade levels. Attention drawn towards the doors, everyone else had softened, Lelouch especially at the sight of his little sister. Sayoko – always present to care for the disabled girl, wheeled her inside the room. No one had noticed their entrance, likely due to the maid’s light footsteps.

“He’s taken a shine to our new buddy here,” Rivalz answered.

“Who?”

Caught up in being the observer, I hadn’t realized that Milly took me by the arm until a tug at my sleeve had me turning to attention. One more introduction to go. I followed her over to the disabled girl who had been immediately greeted by her brother with Suzaku lingering in tow. Close enough, I was allowed a good look at the former princess. I’d seen and met paraplegics before, but for someone to suffer the misfortune of that _and_ blindness as well, it was a cruel fate. Her eyes were closed, sealed shut and not a single hint of twitching beneath the lids. They were completely still. Another thing of note, she wasn’t as small as I expected. Indeed, she was petite, but not a tiny fragile girl. From what I could recall, Nunnally was two or three years younger than her brother so then, around fourteen or so? Point being, she looked proportionally age appropriate.

“Our newest student and member of the council,” Kallen explained.

“Rai,” Milly began “this is Nunnally. She’s Lelouch’s little sister.”

A nudge from Suzaku indicated that I kneel before her. Glancing back to the others, I was granted wordless permission, even from Sayoko. Of course, Lelouch was reluctant to nod, but he did so with only a sharp glare of warning. Overprotective as ever. Lowering myself, my hand was guided to her own, fingers curling around each other with her thumb sweeping over my wrist, likely to measure my pulse. The others were looking on with a vested interest, eager to see if the two of us would interact.

“Hi Nunnally,” I spoke “nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to-

The unexpected pause coupled with a stroke down my wrist and a furrow of her brows had me worried. Hadn’t she always possessed some sort of uncanny ability to read people, almost like an empath? If she could sense that I was lying about something, then that could spell trouble. I resisted the impulse to jerk my hand away.

“Are you okay?”

“I-I um…” I feigned confusion.

“Nunnally, you’ll have to excuse him,” Milly stepped in “Rai’s going through a bit of a hard time adjusting right now. I’ve been making accommodations for his enrollment, which means we should all do our best to help him.”

Thank you for the save, Miss Ashford.

“My memory’s been kinda fuzzy lately,” I said by way of explanation “but everyone here is really nice. Your friends are all so welcoming.”

“Well that’s good to hear,” the younger girl gave me a nod of understanding “I hope that you’ll get better soon.”

Better would imply that I wasn’t somehow trapped in a weird alternate reality that was constructed as an anime series that I was an avid fan of. The near-omniscient knowledge of people, events and places was too much to consider when I was in an environment that was supposed to be fictional, or maybe I was giving myself too much credit. I kept coming back to the idea that this was an illusion; a trick of the mind to deal with the overwhelming stress, and I was just wishing to be back at home contributing to mundane activities, leading a normal life.

So far, nothing to that degree.

“Me too Nunnally. Me too.”

-

After the meeting was adjourned, Milly was the one to takeover for Lelouch in showing me around the campus, but this time we headed for the boys’ dormitory, a neat little bit of familiarity that would leave me as lost and confused as I would be if not for university. Really, I was beginning to think more and more that school life might’ve been a breeze. Ashford, being an educational facility aligned in Britannian roots had to follow some sort of European-based curriculum that I could adapt to. This may have been historical fantasy – or whatever the series was labeled as, but I figured that some of it was grounded, that it followed its own internal logic. As she led me down the hall, I caught a few looks of the other boys struck by the sight of the school’s own heiress striding past without a single worry, some lingering more than others.

“It’s a bit of a last-minute pinch, and since all of the doubles are filled this time of year, I asked my grandfather if there was anything we could arrange for you.”

Which I assume she meant was my new room. By all accounts I should’ve been paired with a roommate, it _was_ a boarding school after all. Then again, who could really determine the outcome of whatever this was? Hopefully, I wasn’t shoved into some contrived situation that saw me living with her or any of the other girls. No offense to them; they were a fine group of young women, each with their own distinct personality, but I just never had much of a taste for harem anime. I enjoyed a good-looking character as much as the next person, but I was also a (hopefully) functioning human being with certain values who could differentiate between fiction and reality. I had the fortitude to refrain from taking advantage of a woman’s hospitality – either accidentally or purposefully. At least, I believed I could.

“I should probably tell you that he wants to speak to you as early as tomorrow.”

I froze. Obviously, the headmaster would want to speak with me. Heiress to a wealthy family or not, I knew that Milly couldn’t just bring in strangers to an environment that hosted a myriad of students without some sort of compromise from the adults in charge. What worried me was what her grandfather would have to say to me. I was a nobody and, in a world, where social class was more of a key factor in the ah… _Darwinism_ that ran rampant, my back had potentially a huge target painted over it.

“Don’t worry about it,” she must’ve noticed my expression “you’re not in trouble or anything. He just wants to help you get everything you need here. As do we all.”

“You don’t have to go so far for me,” I frowned “we just met.”

She wagged a finger in my face, nearly brushing the tip of my nose.

“Didn’t I tell you before? I wasn’t going to throw someone in your position out on the street to fend for yourself.”

“But-

“No buts!”

Shoulder slumping, there went my chance at maintaining a degree of independence. I was stuck living as a boarding school student as per the generosity of Milly Ashford. Yay.

Eventually we came to my dorm. The only residence showcased in the anime had been that of the Lamperouge siblings, and while it was nothing as grand as what they had, it certainly beat any expectations I had previously. Walking in behind her, I couldn’t help but marvel at the living arrangements. It still had the architecture and coloring that one would expect from Ashford, which is to say: elegant.

“It’s not too much, is it?”

“No, it’s-

The words died in my throat the moment I quit gaping and found Milly with an uncharacteristic look of embarrassment, or was it self-consciousness? Uncertainty then. I didn’t remember the cheery, unabashedly bold young woman looking so sheepish in front of others. That sort of expression suited the likes of Shirley or maybe even Suzaku.

“I know that’s it’s all a bit much to take in, and with your condition it’s hard to know if you’re used to this sort of thing.”

Oh. _Oh._

“What? No- listen,” I fumbled for the right words “this is all so perfect. I mean I don’t really know anyone who would go out of their way for me like this. All this effort, it’s…it’s amazing.”

I rubbed at the back of my neck. Were those the right words to use? How should I have been behaving in front of her? She was putting forth so much effort for me, which was not something someone in her position was inclined to do, not that I should assume. Even so, it felt like I owed her and was doing a poor job of expressing gratitude.

“Milly, thank you. I mean it. Honestly, if there’s anything I can do to repay you, just let me know.”

My earnestness seemed to have satisfied her as that uncertainty melted away into assuredness, perhaps even a touch of delight. Good. I didn’t want to cause anyone unhappiness for whatever reason, given that this wasn’t my place to intervene.

“Glad to hear it. I’ll stop by tomorrow before classes start and bring by your school bag, okay?”

A nod of compliance.

“Until then, feel free to relax here.”

She gave my arm a squeeze on her way out. Left alone in my dorm with only the hum of school ventilation and the evening sky visible from half-open curtains at the window. As with any recently domesticated animal to their new habitat, I wandered. A plush armchair sat in the corner next to an empty bookshelf and a nightstand. The floor was nothing but a smooth, buffed sheen of mahogany stretching from the kitchenette to the bedroom.

Speaking of which; inside the bedroom, a uniform had already been folded unto the end of the bed. The iconic charcoal uniform that Lelouch practically modeled. It made me wonder if Milly had scrambled to get that done earlier or if Sayoko had placed it there before going to retrieve Nunnally.

Directly opposite the bed was a smooth, wide dresser where I was free to put any of my belongings – of which I had none except for the clothes on my back. The bedroom lead into the bathroom which I assume had soap, shampoo, lotion and running water among other necessities. If this was a single room, then I was even more curious to know what the doubles looked like. Maybe not all the students in Ashford came from a wealthy background, but I had a feeling that those who could afford to attend Ashford were either diligent in academics or had significant pull from whatever notable occupations their parents had, making tuition hardly a matter at all. I _really_ had to payback Milly’s generosity. I’d be among the elite for the foreseeable future; but for now, I felt the weight of the day on my shoulders.

A day that had gradually shifted into afternoon and into evening without my notice. It hadn’t seemed possible. Even after the initial shock, the world around me felt surreal – as if I weren’t experiencing the sights and sounds of it all. I thought to pinch myself, maybe follow it up with a slap to the face, something that would overload my senses and snap me back to the reality that suited me. However, I stayed my hand. No, not mine. _Rai’s_. I was a puppet of the universe, controlling the form of some hapless and unsuspecting schmuck. It disturbed me to think that this could’ve been the body of the real Rai before I came in and took over. But Rai didn’t exist in the actual canon, or some form of it.

So, I was just conveniently inhabiting the body of someone else to blend in. The most literal case of identity theft ever. Running a hand through silver locks, brushing the stray hairs from my face, I frowned. On that note, would my being here change anything from the events of the series? Well, technically yes considering how randomly I just happened to show up in Ashford, but would that interfere with anything else? No one seemed to mind an amnesiac teenager soon-to-be fellow classmate. Anime logic at its most convenient.

I would stop thinking about my predicament any time soon. It’d be nice not to, though. If I could get to a point where I wasn’t constantly worried about what move to make and how long I’d be staying, then it would be a great weight off my back. Setting the uniform aside into the bedroom closet had me realizing that Milly neglected to inform me that I wasn’t gifted with any sleepwear. I figure it was a minor setback, having a sudden transfer left little time to prepare. I was still amazed that she and her grandfather managed to pull this together last minute. Shrugging, I carefully stripped off as much as I had upon lying unconscious in the nurse’s office, before switching off the lights and collapsing onto the bed. Fatigue quickly settled in and rendered me useless. I didn’t think sleep would come easy.

Fortunately, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up in my own bed was a false hope. The whole arrangement was off, the furniture set in places that were distinctly not me, presentation leaning a bit more on the luxurious side. It choked of unfamiliarity. The previous day’s experience felt so unbelievable that I nearly convinced myself it was all a dream. Twenty-four hours ago, I woke up in a new body and into a new reality that was far away from my own, distorting every preconception of what reality _should’ve_ been.

Adding to the already disturbing situation was my knowledge of the world around me. Had I remained ignorant of what and how certain events transpired, it might’ve been for the better. Not for nothing, I ran across this scenario before, but in a much different context. It was a fleeting ‘what if?’ I’d imagined in times past when I could sit back and read along to someone else’s reimagining of canonical material online. It was hilarious in that completely ludicrous manner of unprecedented events from which I could’ve just laughed and laughed and laughed – the only possible expression of absolute shock from experiencing a revelation.

Behold! The ramblings of a madman.

It left a bitter taste in my mouth, not just brought upon by morning breath. All my hopes were extinguished the moment I had opened my eyes. I suppose I should’ve at least been a bit more grateful, I could’ve landed somewhere **worse**. Fiction came in a myriad of shapes and sizes, anime more so in its unique and utterly bizarre worlds and characters. Entertaining those kinds of wistful thoughts when I was a child was purely for my own enjoyment. Many of the possibilities that came from diverse worlds that only existed in a fictional context was to repel boredom and indulge in my own fantasies. Now, I was apparently living the dream of anybody who held even a casual interest in anime.

What if I just stayed in bed? What would happen if I just continued to lie in the bed? Was there even a chance that I could somehow dematerialize from this reality and back into my own? Hey, anything was possible now, much to my own disbelief. Then again, the Ashford’s were arranging for me to stay here. I was living off _their_ money, which only made me uncomfortable the more I thought about it. I never asked to be a charity case! A job would be more sensible; some form of labor that I could engage in, not sit around and live the student lifestyle when there were countless questions I had that required answers.

Ashford wasn’t the original plan, but really, had there even been a plan to begin with? Would I have honestly managed better had I struck out on my own with no money and no resources to speak of except for the pre-established knowledge I retained to get me by? At best I would’ve been confined to a hospital, seen as a nutcase and administered a sedative. At worst I would’ve been middling around in the ghettos with the natives until eventually caught in the crossfire. Both were terribly bleak options. It didn’t call for genius-level intellect to see that the conclusion of ‘student’ was the better outcome.

Even so, I couldn’t help but scoff a little. I was playing the part of student. Just when I thought that period of my life was over, I was thrust back in at a boarding school no less. If anything, this meant I would never have to await the arrival of a school bus in unfavorable weather. In some way, it was amusing, being surrounded by peers who came from affluent families – trust fund kids who arguably never had to work a day in their lives. Wait, no. I couldn’t judge all of them in such a broad sense. There had to be a small minority of them that either attended on a scholarship program or had jobs to attend off campus. It couldn’t be that all the students were obscenely rich. Could it? I was a rare exception in only the way a convenient association with the school’s heiress made me an **oddity**. Dragging a hand over my new face – noting the goosebumps along my arm from touch alone, I sat up and threw aside the blankets.

Ten minutes spent awkwardly showering and grooming along with personal hygiene in the bathroom woke me up proper, allaying complicated thoughts of metaphysics for the time being. The uniform that had been pressed and dried on my bed from the previous night was hung in the closet alongside the one I had woken up in. Uncertain of whether I would be brought more spare clothes in that moment, I reused the navy ensemble. Another look in the mirror continued my uncanny sense of perception. I’d seen cosplayers do their absolute best to replicate the look and design of a character, but there was only so much that translated outside of a screen, with or without the budget of a big production or the skills of a professional makeup artist. This however, was the most bizarre presentation of fiction to reality I had ever experienced. It was the optical illusion of a surrealist painting come to life.

“Too bad I can’t even enjoy it,” I muttered.

Every blink, every twitch, bend, step and twist put me on edge. I may have moved and functioned out of both instinct and necessity, but it was too unnatural to go unnoticed. The body I inhabited was wildly different from the one I was born in and completely unused to, practically alien. It was a human body, no doubt. Two arms, two legs, all ten fingers and toes. The only thing out of order was the mind. I could feel the hairs on the back of _Rai’s_ neck prickle. Whoever he was, I held the reigns of control now and only because I was forced to – which meant it was imperative that I be as careful as possible. I couldn’t acquire any burns or scars, lose limbs, perhaps not even get a haircut. However long I was taking his body for a joyride, I needed to treat it with the utmost care. Even then, what happened to-

A knock at the door interrupted my solitude.

“Ah, just a second!”

Shaking the thoughts away and clapping both hands over my cheeks twice, I gave myself one last glance in the mirror to be sure I looked presentable, before answering the door. Milly greeted me on the other side with an easy smile, to which I attempted to return, but it might’ve only seemed like a grimace. Right, facial expressions would require some work. Aside from that, I noted the blonde’s difference in wardrobe. School colors were ditched in favor of looking more ‘business casual’ with a bag just as fashionable hanging over her shoulder. Naturally, I was confused.

“What’s- um, you’re not wearing your uniform.”

Brilliant observation, well done.

“Of course not,” she tittered, her eyes twinkled knowingly “I’m taking a personal day off and you’re coming with me.”

“O-okay. But what happened to school? Wasn’t I supposed to-

She entered without much need for ceremony or even courtesy, and why would she? It may have been my assigned room, but Milly was completely at home. Usually such casual behavior was reserved for close friends, but I still had my reservations. She idled by the armchair, a finger tracing absently across the fabric.

“Mm, about that. You can’t get enrolled without proper documentation, medical history, passports, signatures from a legal guardian. This and that. Since we know nothing about you, it’ll take some time.”

“Well…” I ventured “how much time?”

Milly waggled a finger, her demeanor was affable, probably to offset any lingering discomfort “patience my young pupil. Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

With the way this world’s history worked, I wouldn’t have been too surprised. I’d have to do a little digging on that later. For now, despite the pretty glaring logistics (and implications) of housing a stranger, she hadn’t budged. She even treated it as a minor setback. I guess the money really wasn’t an issue.

“Rest assured, it’s being taken care of. I figure we could use this time to get you some new clothes. Unless of course you’d rather stay dressed as an infantryman.”

Pointedly ignoring the way her mouth then curled into a teasing grin, I also resisted the urge to pick at my sleeves. It wasn’t an argument I was willing to put forth given that she was unquestionably correct. I hadn’t any pajamas to sleep in the previous night, which made my sleeping situation more than a little uncomfortable. I was too tired to care then, but further consideration brought about a sense of displeasure.

Well, it’s not as if I was eager to go to class anyway.

“I could go by myself,” she began “but that would make it a tad difficult since I don’t know your size and it’d be better for you to have the option of choosing what’s appealing and what’s not.”

I nodded at this, again grateful that I was given genuine, if not reasonable opportunities instead of being pushed into dealing with ultimatums.

“No, you’re right.”

The young woman’s face softened as she approached, a hand came to rest on my arm, squeezing my bicep lightly in a careful gesture. I suspect it had to do with what she assumed of the severity of my situation. A technique to assist in managing trauma that said: _‘I’m here for you.’_ Though somewhat astonishing, I did appreciate her efforts.

“We won’t go too far. It’s just the Tokyo Settlement. You’ll be with me the whole time, okay?”

For her sake, I tried for an actual smile “…okay.”

-

The reality of our trip may have been based on necessity, but even I enjoyed an opportunity to buy a flattering outfit or two.

I had been quiet during the car ride, only offering up a question here or there, allowing for Milly to do most of the talking, which strangely wasn’t as much as I anticipated. There was a comfortable silence only underscored by the hum of the car engine as I stared out the window, glancing from vehicle to vehicle, curious of the different designs. My attention had literally wandered onto the road; that is until we ventured out of an interchange that led into our destination, during which I think I might’ve gasped – earning a stifled giggle from Milly. Despite not being a stranger to big cities, I couldn’t help but marvel at the Tokyo Settlement. It was nothing like what I had assumed. Whereas my imagination had cooked up a vague recollection of typical futurism combined with generic industrial environments of mecha anime, this was a sleek but bold modernization of the 21st Century. It was accessibility and efficiency with a finesse that would’ve made Ridley Scott jealous. The whole thing seemed to build off itself; a collection of roads and passageways that lead under bridges and through arches, the foundation itself must’ve been labyrinthine. The viceroy’s palace was almost always seen towering in the background, no matter how near or far we were. I figured that no other structure could be built to surpass its height – evidenced by the decimated Tokyo Tower I had caught a glimpse of.

While I was never an expert when it came to industrialism, friends and family had always told me that I had an eye for anything that looked good. From construction to color, I held an appreciation for aesthetics, even if some things bordered on ridiculous. If nothing else, it gave ample opportunity for me to see just how detailed the worldbuilding was, how rich in design everything was compared to the world I knew and came from.

The only thing missing were flying cars.

“It’s impressive, isn’t it?”

Blinking, I glanced aside from where I sat currently and saw Milly staring expectantly at me. She stood close while I was seated on a bench framed by shrubbery, elbows on my knees as I took in the splendor around us. The chauffer – whose name I neglected to remember, had dropped us off at a parking garage, allowing for Milly to take the reins. The heiress hadn’t let go of my arm since our arrival; eager to show me around and likely to keep from losing track of me since I was without a cellphone. Though slightly unsure, any indignation I felt was soon forgotten the moment we walked out into the open space of a plaza. Fresh air filled my lungs, no trace of smog in sight. The open sky above added a grander aspect to the whole venture, along with the aroma of something flowery – artificial or otherwise. My gawking must’ve attracted attention, as there were a few odd looks thrown my way here and there. Of course, we weren’t just the only ones out and about; the public ranged from middle-aged men and women talking into their cell phones or browsing through whatever digital device they carried, to college-aged young adults in small groups having a laugh as they spent their time away from educational institutions, there were even a few of the elderly simply enjoying their day with or without company.

Led around by my trusted guide, I would’ve been lying if I denied any sort of enjoyment out of seeing Milly showing me some of her favorite places to shop. Her excitement was infectious and happened to be the appropriate sort of therapy I needed instead of being left alone to my thoughts all day. I was told where to get the same clothes but at a different price, which brands were the most important when it came to formalwear, what counted as up to date as opposed to out of date. She had even introduced me to some of the employees who she knew personally from frequent trips. Nobility – however major or minor, was apparently recognized by all establishments. Frankly, I was just content to have a pair of pajamas to sleep in. Once we had accumulated enough outfits to last me a whole week, or at least enough for me to carry along, we took a break amid the plaza.

“Y-yeah, it’s all…it’s definitely something.”

It probably didn’t occur to any of them that there was a world without _this_.

“You look good.”

Milly motioned to my current state of dress. The moment she had found a shop that she was especially familiar with, I was forced into a dressing room with a series of trendy and upscale clothing. Gone was the navy uniform and replacing it was something more appropriate so that I wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb. A thin bomber jacket worn over a buttoned-down shirt covering a simple crewneck t-shirt, while jeans with additional pockets were secured by a belt. Milly had allowed me a pair of sneakers after I expressed interest in comfortable footwear. In addition, the color was a deep azure that matched the jacket, which I liked.

“You really think so?”

“Absolutely. It suits you.”

“Thanks,” I hid a minor smile.

She sat down beside me, taking in my appearance with an appreciative glint in her eyes.

“Still, I think you could do with a bit more, perhaps a few different shades of blue? It really highlights your eyes, you know.”

Ah, how could I forget? Besides the occasional disorientation every time I looked in the mirror, blue was now the default. It might as well reflect in my clothing choices if not for the sake of consistency.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“But you _do_ like the set you’re wearing, right?”

I nodded “Of course.”

“Good,” she crossed her legs and leaned back slightly, hands placed on top of the purse situated in her lap “to be honest, I was hoping the others could’ve come along. I meant to get in some extra shopping before our trip anyway.”

“Are they always busy?”

“Not usually. Well, Rivalz has his commitment as a bartender, believe it or not. Kallen’s constitution is a little complicated. I’ve been trying to get Nina to step further out of her comfort zone, but that’s still a work in progress. Even so, it’d be nice to get together with friends outside of class and student council meetings.”

I followed her line of sight; somewhere out along the city skyline I could see a crane moving. Towers stood off in the distance at impressive heights, some with panels situated on top of them. I even heard the rumble of the transit that passed through just a few yards away from the street we were on. We wouldn’t be going back until sometime later, but I did feel a small bit of disappointment in being unable to ride Japan’s renowned railway system. Being chauffeured was nice enough when comparing the experience to dealing with the usual drawbacks of public transportation, but I found myself wanting to partake in a bit of actual tourism. Visiting the country had been one of my stronger aspirations beforehand, just not like **this**. The western influence was difficult to ignore; the style was explicitly Britannian. There were no signs written in hiragana or kanji, no paper lanterns to be seen. What little of the natives that I did see, they went mostly ignored or given pointed looks by some when trying to communicate offerings to potential customers. The empire had all but choked the traditional architecture out of a city that was once the central region of the nation’s culture

…or had that been _Kyoto?_ I wasn’t exactly an expert.

I scratched at my cheek, ignoring the strange sensation and trying to find the right words.

“It’s not too late, maybe next time.”

It was mildly sobering, a moment of contemplation between the both of us to dispel her usual upbeat and mischievous demeanor. I had forgotten that even Milly had her moments of consideration, that she felt more for her friends than what she led others to initially believe. I still couldn’t quite grasp why she bothered to house a stranger, but despite my displacement, it was fortunate that I landed in the care of someone who was willing to place the best foot forward. Feeling a stare on my neck, I glanced her way.

“Certainly, now that you’ll be joining us.”

Milly stood up from the bench, clutching her expensive purse in one hand “in the meantime, we can get you everything you need and more.”

I blanched and looked down at the collection of bags that we had already acquired before looking back up at the heiress.

“Uh, more?”

Her lips curled into a grin.

“We can’t forget school events, they’re the most important! Dances, pageants, not to mention holidays. The student council prides itself on being prepared, which means you’ll need a proper tailor as well.”

She went on, caught up in planning while her arm snaked around mine once again. Quickly reaching for the bags so as not to forget them, before I knew it, we were off.

-

Shopping, as it turned out, was a test of endurance.

Six hours, five boutiques and ten outfits later, I was astonished at my body’s ability to maintain a significant amount of energy after following Milly around the commercial district. I wondered briefly if it was due in part to my all-encompassing awe and curiosity when it came to new sights and sounds to behold…or just that we had stopped for lunch in the middle of the day. That much was enjoyable. I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten much of anything, it might’ve even been before the whole ‘transition between worlds’ ordeal. We settled down at a table outside of a café, shopping bags littered around our chairs while food and drink remained half-finished.

“Clovisland?”

“Yep!”

“So, he named a theme park after himself?”

“Oh, it’s not so strange. After all, the school was made in my family’s name.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

_‘Easy for you to say, Miss Ashford.’_

Surnames had a better chance of lending to brands, trademarks and marketing. In Milly’s case, her family had devoted their time and energy into facilitating academic pursuits. An admirable cause from a once noble house. However, a theme park, water park and beach resort named after Clovis himself. Given name? It didn’t exactly roll off the tongue like Disney did. From what I understood, he was more of a patron of the arts rather than an austere military leader like his sister or shrewd politician like his brother. Regardless of however I felt, he would remain illustrious to the Britannians all the same.

“Anyway,” Milly continued “the park itself had already gone through production despite some minor delays. It’s been a pretty big hit…despite being jinxed.”

“Jinxed?”

“Well, it’s just a rumor, but I’ve heard that if you plan on going as a couple, you’d better think twice.”

“Why?”

“Oh, you know,” she stirred the straw of her drink with a hint of a smirk “something about there being a number of breakups witnessed.”

I felt my brows furrow in suspicion. It was normal for rides to break down every now and then, but some supernatural curse that caused couples to break up? Milly was right, that had to be a rumor.

…

Wait a minute

“Have _you_ ever visited?”

“Oh sure,” she replied airily “I was there when it first opened. Such a lovely place.”

With a snort and a shake of the head, I’d been ready to change the subject, knowing that Milly would find some other way to divert the conversation as she often did. However, it was something else altogether that had caught my attention.

A news broadcast. Hosted on a large screen for public viewing nearby was a news broadcast. Normally I was averse to the daily news; outside of weather reports I had no use for listening or watching until now. The female anchor of what I could see in the corner of the screen marked as HiTV, had been in the middle of describing recent events as far back as the previous few days (likely prior to my arrival) while the screen displayed a figure who was the subject of much controversy. Dressed in regalia that might’ve been the inverse of everything that Britannia stood for; sporting colors of black, purple and gold, in a long cape that either billowed behind him with poise or draped over his entire form, with a mask that covered the entirety of his head…

“Zero.”

That’s right. Between managing my existential crisis, maintaining a semi-truth of amnesia and shopping around the settlement, I had almost forgotten.

_“…speculate that the masked vigilante may be have ties to the former Six Houses of Kyoto or even the Japanese Liberation Front…”_

Just how early had I arrived? Arthur was already staying at the school long enough for there to be furniture for him in the student council room. If the public at large was in rampant speculation regarding Zero’s identity and whereabouts, then Lelouch must’ve only begun his rebellion.

_“…by Viceroy Cornelia’s forces, all acts of terrorist activity have been subdued for the time being. Now all that remains is…”_

So, the princess had already begun her campaign, that meant Euphemia had to be here as well. She probably met Suzaku too, which explained how he was enrolled into Ashford with the rest of us. But if he was acquitted from suspicion of Prince Clovis’ assassination and instead Zero was the culprit following that, then how come I hadn’t noticed earlier? Especially given that the ‘Orange Incident’ would’ve lent well to a media frenzy.

A small cough pulled me out of my thoughts. Glancing back at the table, I saw the discomfort on my companion’s face.

“Milly…?”

She sighed “I was hoping to avoid this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Zero,” she motioned her head to the broadcast.

It hadn’t occurred to me until then that Milly neglected to mention any of the recent events in Area 11. Our discussions had been relatively focused on my mental and emotional adjustment, shopping and preparations for the schoolyear. Yet, there was nothing of government crackdowns following Clovis’ untimely death, or civil unrest due to terrorist activity.

“It was going to come up eventually,” she continued “I was only hoping that there was enough time for you to get used to Area Eleven before any of us had to let you in on the situation.”

That was certainly bold of her.

“Is it safe for us to be out in the open like this?”

“It should be. I mean, we haven’t encountered any trouble, which is always good. Most of his activity has been limited to the ghettos, shipyards and other places further from the settlement. I figured that someone like Zero wouldn’t try to harm innocent people but, no one really knows what he’s trying to do yet. So, being careful is top priority.”

Well that explained why she had been leading me around all day. The fact that I hadn’t picked up on it was a little disappointing.

“And, your grandfather…is he okay with us going out so soon after these incidents?”

“It’s not as if he doesn’t have his reservations,” she drew a hand through her hair “but he recognizes that there shouldn’t be any need to live in constant fear by staying shut inside all the time.”

Understandable, the Britannians may have been a proud people, but it was human nature to rebel against anything, even the potential threat of harm – however misguided. It was also useless to think that anywhere would be a permanent place of safety, there was no accounting for unpredictability. The best anyone could do was try and live their lives while exorcising an appropriate degree of caution.

“Believe me when I say I hadn’t meant to keep this from you, any of it.”

She looked nervous, bordering on flustered. Averting her eyes like a child caught in a lie. It had an unfortunate effect on me, seeing her like this. From what I could tell, Milly was usually so composed when she wasn’t engaging in her usual antics with the student council. No, this wasn’t right. Letting her take on the blame and responsibility on top of already supporting me financially was too selfish on my part. It was too much in general. I had to do something, if only just to reassure her and avoid any more of this awkwardness. Carefully, I leaned closer over the table, drawing her attention back to me.

“I believe you, Milly.”

She blinked, astonished.

“You do?”

“Yes,” I nodded “I’m not angry with you. I’m glad we got the chance to come out here today. I-I’m feeling much better already.”

To this she didn’t reply, but I saw that her expression softened. I took that as a good sign. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to be made to feel discomfort or obligation towards me. However, if Milly wanted to reach out and help someone in distress with the power she had, then I couldn’t hold that against her. I wouldn’t.

-

Sunday saw my summons to the headmaster’s office.

I wasn’t sure what to expect. From what I could remember, Reuben Ashford was not a character who was heavily featured in the series, if at all. He might’ve been mentioned in passing, but his presence wasn’t front and center. Be that as it were, he was still the headmaster and a former noble. Milly’s charm may have deterred some from believing that her family had once held a higher status, but I couldn’t afford to let it slip past my notice. There was a certain level of cooperation and respect.

“Come in.”

The moment I passed through the doors, I was met with the headmaster himself. He sat right within the center of view, framed by a wide window with floor-length curtains drawn back to reveal a gorgeous view of the campus outside. He sat behind a mahogany desk currently filled with paperwork, an elegant calligraphy set and a corded landline phone. The man himself fit the profile of a nobleman; gracefully aged with a head full of dusty blonde hair, and heavy brows set over slate-colored eyes. His hands weren’t drawn at a clasp over his mouth, instead entwined unto the desk. His stare was unflinching.

“Step closer,” his voice low and cultured “so that I may get a better look at you.”

Doing as told, I now stood a foot away from the desk.

“So, you would be this Rai that my granddaughter has chosen to take in?”

“Yes sir.”

“Why do you think that is?”

I blinked “I’m sorry?”

“Why do you think my granddaughter has taken it upon herself to shelter a total stranger within the dwelling of Ashford Academy? Surely you must have wondered.”

Even with all that I knew, I couldn’t read minds. There was no telling what Milly was thinking when she insisted that I stay at the school and enroll as a student. Although, initially I felt it had something to do with pity, maybe even a spur of the moment idea. Now, after having previously spent a decent amount of time in her company, I knew that her attempts to reach out were honest. Still, Reuben continued.

“It certainly isn’t for charity, I can tell you that right now, young man.”

He had yet to raise his voice and there was no edge that I could detect. However, there was a firmness I found mildly intimidating. I understood the justification to be wary around newcomers, especially in light of such specific circumstances. My only hope was that he did not see me as either a potential problem or nothing more than his granddaughter’s pet project.

“Would you consider this act reasonable? Would it not be more logical within the long-term that you were seen to by the proper authorities? A licensed doctor, for example.”

I grimaced, the thought did occur to me “Y-yes, I think it would’ve been better if I had gone to a hospital instead.”

“Tell me: do you think Milly has made the right choice?”

Well, here goes nothing.

“Speaking honestly sir, I don’t know if I can claim anyone’s choice as right or wrong. I don’t really know much of anything these days so…I don’t think my opinion would be valid.”

For a few moments more, he continued to stare at me. I was never too good at looking people in the eye while addressing them, which is why I kept my gaze at a point just above his line of sight at the eyebrows. Nothing too obvious as I didn’t want to give myself away. Resisting a gulp, I kept still and waited for a response. Seconds ticked by, everything quiet aside from the grandfather clock situated in the right corner of the room. Then, I heard it.

A chuckle.

Reuben unfolded his hands and leaned back in his chair; expression lighter, attentive but this time kinder.

“You may relax, Rai. I only wanted to get a clear assessment of your character.”

He’d been testing me. Of course. Employing such a careful method of reading someone else upon introduction, it was an excellent power play. Without realizing, my shoulders loosened.

“I’ve been made more than aware of your situation and I highly doubt that were you a threat, my granddaughter would’ve insisted upon keeping you here with among other students.”

Fair enough.

“However, there is the matter of your registration.”

I watched as he scribbled something down onto a sheet of paper, the words illegible from where I stood. The art of reading upside down was lost on me.

“I’ve already taken the appropriate measures in appointing myself as your official guardian. From now on, you will be serving as a ward of the Ashford family until further notice. Now that only leaves the matter of your medical records. Fortunately, I’ve managed to schedule an appointment that you are to attend for this upcoming weekend. Is that understood?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” he nodded “I’ve also taken the liberty of getting your school uniforms and other necessities arranged.”

With this, he reached down to open a drawer. The next thing I knew, a clear plastic-wrapped package was being placed in my hands. Once glance and I saw that it was indeed the familiar black and gold male student uniform, likely an extra to accompany the one I already had, though there was another set underneath it that looked to be gym clothes.

“The student council will take care of your ID. You start tomorrow.”

Usually that would’ve been a dismissal among anyone else and I _would’ve_ already left were it not for the myriad of questions circulating within my mind. Shifting from one foot to another and glancing elsewhere, aware of the time I was wasting.

“If I may ask, w-why are you doing this? Why are you allowing me to stay here, sir?”

He regarded me with a raised brow which had me regretting my decision to speak out almost immediately until-

“I may be an old man,” he began “but my sense of compassion has not waned in all the years I’ve spent on this earth.”

Huh?

Seeing my confusion, Reuben continued.

“Young man, with the way the world is and how it has been for a while, you’ll find that virtues such as temperance and kindness are sorely lacking. One must wonder just how we’ve managed to come so far by climbing onto the backs of others and looking away instead of offering support. I was told of how you were found in such a state; utterly lost, barely conscious and without a single ally to ensure your wellbeing. One would think an official would see to your needs even before you wandered out from wherever you did and onto the grounds of the school. Well, I say for shame to whomever would’ve forsaken their responsibilities and left you to begin with.

As it is, you are without much. Nothing but a name, and that is truly unfortunate. Here I am in a position of power, am I not? What kind of position is worth turning away one in need? Ashford Academy is and will continue to be a place of inclusivity so long as I live and breathe, not a breeding ground for this disreputable behavior that the empire has all but cultivated and made a mockery of polite society. I find worth in people, those whom are willing to change and accept change. People deserve to be given a chance. _You_ deserve to be given a chance.”

If there was any argument I was going to put forth, it was then rendered moot. Here I was cast out into a new world by whatever whim of the universe, with only my wits for comfort. By all accounts I was indeed alone. Yet, here was Reuben Ashford; educational facilitator and former royal of the imperial court, offering me the proverbial olive branch.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Pointedly ignoring the lump in my throat, I gave a bow of my head “Thank you, sir. I will do my best.”

“Rai.”

I stood straighter “Yes, sir?”

Reuben smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners – a visage of complete serenity.

“Welcome to Ashford.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _TBC_


	4. Chapter 4

“…nice to meet you all.”

Public speaking hadn’t been a requirement for quite some time and although it was only an introduction to what would become the setting of my daily routine, I fell back into the presentation. Back straight, shoulders squared and feet only inches apart. There was no whiteboard that required me to write my new name, which wouldn’t have come as a difficulty anyway. It was only 3 letters and 1 syllable. However, it did call into question why no one had addressed my lack of a surname, not even the teacher – a woman who I would’ve thought had all the right in the world to question her students, said nothing about it.

Not that I was complaining

Instead, I took in the setting. The classroom bore the kind of aesthetic one would find in a university instead of a public high school, fitting with the expectation of wealth. I didn’t miss the school’s stylized fleur-de-lis scattered here and there. The décor from the windows to the walls spoke of elegance. Quite the example of ‘higher education’ in many aspects of the word, or at least from a monetary standpoint. It made me wonder what any of the other Britannian funded schools were like. Snapping out of my thoughts, I glanced back at the teacher for confirmation.

“Glad to have you with us, Rai. Now, since you’re a late arrival, you’ll have to choose a vacant seat instead of the ones pre-assigned.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Whether it was by fortune or coincidence, there was an empty place right beside a face I knew all too well. Locking eyes with Suzaku, I shot him a smile, one he tentatively aimed back. It made a certain amount of sense that few people would choose to sit beside an Eleven but I had no interest in adhering to the social politics of the realm. Fortunately, amnesia came as both a half-truth and an excuse that I could work into my favor. I kept my feet moving forward in his direction. This would elicit astonishment from some of the others, if their murmurs and attempts at whispering were anything to go by. The students themselves where a collection of unfamiliar faces; mostly westerners, young adults of various shapes and sizes, even _colors_. There were the typical shades of blonde, brunette and black with a few reds that made up traditional hair colors. Then there were others who sported more unusual palettes of blue and purple. As with many anime, the background characters had limited importance that was usually assigned to the brightness or style of their hair. Making my way to the seat, I could hear snippets of conversation.

“What, another new student? That’s twice in a month now.”

“Do you think he’s from one of the other areas?”

“Doesn’t seem like he’s from the homeland.”

“His name sounds kinda weird.”

“He’s gonna sit near Kururugi?”

“I heard he’s on the student council, guess it makes sense.”

So, word had already gotten around about the ‘mysterious transfer student.’ I didn’t think my arrival would lend to rampant speculation, but then I remembered that little tour that Lelouch had given me on my unofficial first day before meeting everybody else. I’d give it a week before they would settle down and go on about their business, leaving me in the clear. For now, I’d put up with the attention however best that I could. Sure, it might’ve been arrogant to assume that everyone would want to pay attention to me, but I felt it was only logical. A brand-new student seemingly out of nowhere joining the likes of the student council, hold so much favor with the headmaster’s granddaughter, and openly display a friendliness towards one of the few known native Japanese students that attended. All this coming off the heels of what I had discovered had been Suzaku’s own enrollment just a few weeks prior, and that was just _after_ he’d been acquitted as a prime suspect in prince Clovis’ assassination. If anything, outside of the Ashfords, I could likely count on Suzaku to keep me up to date with the coursework.

Sliding into my seat beside him, I waited until enough eyes were facing toward the front of the class and the teacher’s back was turned. Leaning just slightly to my left, I murmured.

“Good to see a friendly face.”

“Same here. Anything you need help with, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“I might need help with a lot. I barely know where to begin.”

“Then leave it to me.”

True to his word, Suzaku brought me up to date on me all that he knew. It was interesting to hear of Britannian history according to a Japanese citizen. The explanations and documentations seemed so by-the-book that I had a hard time believing Suzaku didn’t feel the slightest bit of shame in flipping through the textbook. He had to have known that it was nothing but lies. Although, he deserved a bit of credit in displaying no outward signs of irritation. The Japanese boy hadn’t so much as tensed or rolled his eyes, looking as simple and unaffected as any other student. Perhaps it was due to the years of practice.

What proved to be a minor relief for me was the fact that all the material was written in English. The empire had invaded in 2010, and from what I re-leaned, successfully took over within the span of a month. I couldn’t be certain of how long it took for the framework of a language to be reestablished right down to the printing press, but by the current date of 2017 a.t.b. any colony would be forced to align with the empire’s standard and make the transition beyond a language barrier. In addition to this, I made a little discovery of my own.

Suzaku was speaking English.

Not Engrish. Plain, unaccented English. All the correct vowels and consonants as if it was the natural language he’d spoken for much of his life. Which granted, that was probably the case coming from a diplomatic household likely dealing with foreign policy and after the invasion of his homeland. What was more surprising to me was the registry of his voice. I recognized it from several dubs I’d watched over the years. Come to think of it, the rest of the student council sounded like much of their American language counterparts.

How did I not notice _that_ before?

Or maybe they were all speaking in the language the series had been originally produced in before being translated, and I only understood due to the distortion of my own perception which-

“What’s wrong?”

Nearly dropping my pencil, I blinked and refocused my attention to Suzaku “Huh?”

The Japanese boy gave me a mild look of unease “You were staring.”

Was I?

“Oh,” I managed to keep my voice level “sorry, guess I must’ve been lost in thought.”

Suzaku gave a short hum in reply before turning back to his work “if you say so.”

Halfway through the class, it became apparent to me that I would be spending much of my academic career catching up – a reality I was less than enthusiastic about. My grades had never been poor, not even mediocre, but with the amount of information I was juggling in addition to my own developing psychosis, I would have to find a filter of focus and fast. My notebook was already marked and highlighted with topics that were covered prior to my arrival, _Washington’s Rebellion_ drawing special attention. I kept having to remind myself the continent that was North America was just another conquest of Britannia and there hadn’t been any such nomenclature for the territory. It was, however, established as the homeland upon the turn of the 17th century. Pondering on the idea of alternate histories was what comprised of speculative fiction. What if _this_ happened? What if _that_ happened? In what state would the world be if humankind took one path instead of another?

I’ll admit, it was fascinating. Part of me was engrossed by the reality of a world where mechas existed, the kid who had grown up watching Big O couldn’t help but feel excited. If there was to be any joy derived from this bizarre experience, it might as well have been that.

At the toll of the bell, I noted how quickly Suzaku had gathered his things and politely excused himself. I hadn’t thought much of it for a moment until seeing the judgmental and dissatisfied looks thrown his way by our fellow students as he left. Of course. Despite being accepted by the student council, Suzaku wasn’t free from prejudice overall. Some of the more bullheaded kids still held tight to their preconceived notions about him and his people.

I wondered what would happen if I tried to befriend him further than just an average classmate and student council member. Would that make me an outsider, too? Would they dare to bully me if I decided assimilating to societal expectations wasn’t worth my time? Frankly, there was a part of me itching to find out, if only just to make school life more bearable for Suzaku. He didn’t have many close friends outside of Lelouch and Nunnally. Then again, was I even willing to get invested in these people?

There was an obvious separation between fantasy and reality before. Back then I could just watch everything play out on screen like a Shakespearean drama except with giant robots. However, now that the line had bypassed blurring and been erased completely, I had to make sure I didn’t say or do anything that would give these people reason to distrust me. But with knowing of certain secrets and events, keeping them at a distance seemed reasonable. One tiny mistake could spill out into a different outcome altogether, good or bad.

Was it worth it?

-

The first few classes came and went unceremoniously.

As it turned out, school was school no matter where in the universe you were. Even with the special treatment granted by my legal guardians, I still had to familiarize myself with the building blocks of modern society. Neat. At the very least, I could walk the halls without supervision. Then again, at least two or three of the student council were present among most of my classes – a maneuver I was sure had been wholly intentional. Despite my uncertain mental faculties, on the surface I was an able-bodied young man.

Something the fairer half of the student population took notice of, much to my chagrin.

More than a couple of the girls had said hello to me along the halls, and upon sending them a polite wave, I was rewarded with giggles and fleeting glances before they quickly made off elsewhere.

Well, at least the hair wasn’t a deal breaker for some.

“Hey, there you are!”

A hand clapped onto my shoulder, attached to it was Rivalz – schoolbag grasped in one hand while looking totally unbothered. I winced at the sudden touch to my person, still a bit unused to being on the receiving end of physical gestures, what with the new body. My nerves were an entire bundle of hypersensitivity. Thankfully the other boy hadn’t noticed, totally unfazed by my discomfort. He was quick to move along to other matters.

“Come on, everybody’s waiting.”

“Huh?”

“Lunch, _duh_. You didn’t think we were gonna let you eat by yourself, did you?”

To be honest, the thought of lunch hadn’t even occurred to me.

“I didn’t bring anything.”

“It’s fine,” he gave a frivolous wave “you can mooch off me.”

Before I could protest, he was all but steering me towards our destination. Out of the building and into one of the campus’ many courtyards.

It didn’t surprise me to see the likes of Milly, Shirley and Nina present at their little spot, as they were the closest of friends to begin with. Lelouch and Suzaku were nowhere to be found; typical of the former and the latter likely had an appointment with his military supervisors. It began to make even more sense to me why Rivalz would want to even out the dynamic with another guy around with Lelouch unavailable. Odd, considering I was led to believe that he preferred the attention of young women…or any woman, really. Maybe I was being unfair in my assumptions. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

It did however, surprise me to see Kallen.

The crimson-haired girl didn’t seem like the type that would hang around a prestigious schoolgirl clique, rather more at home with her ragtag group of misfits that browsed the Tokyo ghettos. Despite being part of her cover, she looked content enough to be there among friends. In fact, the closer I looked, the more it began to fit. Her hair had been well-combed to fall past her chin, her posture not as submissive as Nina’s but docile enough to portray a moderately frail condition. She even spoke in a softer register. Clark Kent would be proud.

“Is there something wrong?”

Taken out of my reverie, I noted the curious expression she wore, followed by several looks from the others in my direction. Again, I’d been caught staring. Between her and Suzaku, I would come under suspicion if this little error wasn’t taken care of soon. With a grimace, I tried to cover my tracks.

“I thought you were sick.”

While it may not have been the politest intro to conversation, it gave a plausible reason for why someone in my position would question someone in hers.

“Oh,” she blinked, uncertain of how to respond “well I-

“You’ll find that you aren’t the only one with _special needs_ , Rai.”

Turning to Milly, I cocked my head for the added effect of needing an explanation. She shook her head in response and gestured to Kallen, who didn’t seem too offended by the blunt address of her ‘illness’ and gave a short summary of something vaguely related to muscle atrophy. She was incredibly patient with me, though I wondered how much of that had to do with my own lapse in memory. If it were anyone else – especially someone like Lelouch to call her presence or absence into question, then she’d have less reason to be as polite. For my part, I simply stuck to the role of humble newcomer and decided to remain unobtrusive by way of acting meek.

“But you’re okay now, right?”

The corner of her lips twitched, eventually giving way to a small smile.

“Yes, for now.”

With that out of the way, my apparent hunger chose the exact moment to make itself known by a loud growl of my stomach, causing Rivalz to shoot a sly look in my direction.

“I thought you said you weren’t hungry.”

“I said I didn’t bring anything to eat.”

Which was apparently the wrong thing to say aloud, as Shirley seized the opportunity to offer me her own homemade lunch, stressing the importance of good eating. With little resistance, I accepted my fair share of the girl’s lunch; even Kallen shared some of hers, much to my astonishment.

“I’d expect nothing else from an athlete,” Rivalz commented.

“It’s not exclusive to athletes,” Nina added “it’s beneficial to basic health.”

The resident swimmer pointed an accusatory finger at him “Which you would know if you learned to cook your meals properly.”

“I know how to cook,” he scoffed.

“Pizza doesn’t count.”

What followed was an artful debate on Rivalz’s taste in food – or lack thereof, with running commentary by Milly who expertly dodged picking any side in favor of seeing how long it would last. Honestly, I was just content to steer the conversation away from any weirdness on my part.

-

After classes had finished, homework took top priority, leaving me to my devices within the student council room. Much of it would need revising, but I’d ask for help later. Most of the others had left; Shirley to swim practice, Rivalz to cover his shift at the bar, Kallen attending her own private affairs and Milly vaguely mentioning a call from her parents. If Lelouch wasn’t out arranging plans for the Rebellion, then he was home with Nunnally. Aside from the air conditioning and periodic twitter of a bird outside of the windows, the room maintained a comfortable silence. Nina was present but didn’t look to be in the mood for conversation, likewise I wouldn’t bother her while she was engrossed in her homework. Calculus 2 from the looks of it.

We weren’t the only ones present however, as Arthur sat perfectly content on his climbing post. Occasionally I would find him staring at me with those unblinking eyes. To be honest, it felt creepy. Be watched was unnerving in general but when animals did it – cats especially, then it brought about certain questions. The former stray had liked me enough to greet me among introductions to the rest of the student council, but I began to feel like he knew _something_ was wrong with me. The moment I considered getting up to approach, the door opened and in walked familiar green eyes.

“Didn’t think I’d see you back. I thought you left for the day.”

Suzaku shook his head, a small smile softening his features.

“Not for the whole day. I still had to come back and collect missed work.”

“Speaking of,” I gestured to the material in front of me “do you mind?”

“Yeah, sure thing.”

While he sat opposite me at the table and began searching through his school bag, I noted the subtle tense of Nina’s shoulders in the corner and frowned. Ah, the xenophobe. Without Milly and Shirley to act as buffers, there was nothing to be done about her ‘feelings’ regarding Suzaku and his people. With more than a few friends around, the situation seemed less of a bother to all parties involved. But those friends weren’t present to mitigate any of underlying tension.

To her credit, Nina didn’t look to be on the verge of flipping out, but then I couldn’t claim to be an expert on those matters. I’d been fortunate enough to grow up in an environment that didn’t foster any sort of prejudice or anxiety. All I knew was that if it was called to attention then that would make the awkwardness even more palpable, so I resolved to keep my focus on the boy in front of me.

“Where did you go, anyway?”

“My job.”

“Seems like everyone’s busy. How do you work while in school?”

He shrugged “well, it’s certainly not easy, just something that I have to do.”

“And what is it that you do?”

A small quirk of his brow. He’d told Lelouch and Nunnally the white lie of being in service to the Britannian military, but the details were left out. I doubted anyone besides Milly knew, as she and Reuben took care of his transcripts just like with mine.

“Nothing too big, not that they’d let me. I’m still a student after all.”

I could either take the bait or nudge him for more information under the guise of genuine interest. Seeing as how I’d slipped up twice earlier, I wasn’t as eager for a third time.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t seem to have stopped you and Rivalz from putting in the hours. I’m almost jealous.”

“Trust me,” he gave an amused snort “there’s nothing to be jealous about.”

“No?”

“Not really.”

A hum of feigned boredom “Still, it’d be good to keep myself busy, maybe doing something that’ll pay back Milly and her grandfather.”

“Rai, you’re still recovering,” he admonished “maybe give it a little more time before deciding you want to throw yourself into the workforce.”

Ah, there was mister reasonable making his first appearance

“Y-yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Besides, I’m sure enrolling as a student is enough for Milly to appreciate your commitment.”

Even if that happened to be the case, there was some truth in venting my mild frustrations. I was used to managing my own independence that it felt too much like coddling to be put back into a position of relying on others. I wouldn’t dare express such to Milly, as it would feel too much like rebuffing her generosity, especially in the wake of our little weekend shopping trip. I kept having to remind myself that she wouldn’t take no for an answer and neither would Reuben.

“Yowch!”

A heavy thud startled me to attention. Seeing Suzaku’s face twisted into exasperation and mild pain, I ducked under the desk to find Arthur sinking his fangs into the boy’s ankle, little paws clutching his leg. He bent over to capture the fickle feline, only to draw back, narrowly avoiding a swipe of unsheathed claws.

“You want me to take him?” I tried to hide my amusement.

“Please,” he nodded.

I prided myself in being especially pain tolerant in the past, however there was no need to anticipate an onslaught of hissing and spitting as Arthur allowed me to pluck him from Suzaku’s person. He squirmed only a bit as I placed him back on his post with a small pat on the head. Turning back to the Japanese boy, I offered him a sheepish smile. Both of us taking that as cue to get started on our homework.

-

By the time of late afternoon, I had stuck around to wander for a bit longer. The beginnings of a sunset bleeding across the horizon shone brilliantly against the hall windows. There were still a fair share of students milling about outside, though none I recognized from my earlier classes.

As my mind drifted elsewhere, I thought back to lunch and how unbothered the student council members had been. Setting aside the circumstances, ultimately most of them were just teenagers. At this point, their only obligations were academics and extra-curriculars. Of course, there were certain expectations on Milly’s end and Kallen’s own struggles, but in a more merciful setting they wouldn’t have to worry about such things. In a more merciful setting, this would be just a regular slice of life comedy with a mix of harem as far as Lelouch was concerned. Perhaps it was why the time spent at school saw most of them behaving so normally – because it was where they felt the most comfortable. At Ashford, most of them had the freedom to be young adults.

But how long would that freedom last?

Milly was determined as ever to make Ashford a safe place for me, but I knew the peace and quiet of student life was uncertain in a place like Area 11. More than a few people would have their lives ruined by the rebellion and at least a few notable events took place at the school, endangering students and faculty. Would it even be right for me to just sit and wait it out until the hammer finally dropped? Then what?

Before I had a chance at internal debate, I felt something on the back of my neck – a strange sensation that I was certain had silver hairs standing on end. Soon enough I felt the prickle along my arms, underneath my skin. Whipping around to find whomever or whatever it was, I glimpsed a pair of golden eyes before doing a doubletake.

Nothing

The sun continued to set, the students outside minding their own business, even the few around me paid little attention. They were caught up in the mundanity of their daily lives. I envied them. A shudder ran through me.

What even _was_ that?

Glancing down at my hands, I was relieved to see that there was no twitching or trembling of any kind. Still, it was difficult to rid myself of the feeling. Was this a side-effect of living in a completely new body, the result of introducing a foreign species into a new environment? The entire situation made me feel just a bit like a science experiment. Carefully running a hand through my hair, I was determined to brush aside the strange feeling for now however I could and simply return to the comfort of my dorm.

Hopefully, some rest would do me a bit of good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _TBC_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is going to be the last of the pre-written chapters, folks! I tried to stick to a schedule of updating weekly for as many chapters as there were. Unfortunately that means I'll be taking a bit longer to write the newest installments. The Ashford arc isn't exactly over, since there's plenty more I need to set up, but rest assured this fic is still ongoing.
> 
> Feedback is appreciated!

Truth be told, I was beginning to get used to the medical appointments.

The act of seeing a doctor was so normal. Despite the poking and prodding, it was routine and did much to alleviate any trepidation I felt about my new body’s current condition. Reuben had naturally been present for all my medical appointments to date, even as Milly couldn’t attend for some. The older gentleman took his duties as my legal guardian to heart, vouching on my behalf more than once. Given what I remembered of the series, few of the upper class were as sympathetic to those of a lesser social standing. Briefly I wondered if this were his way of distancing or differentiating himself from the rest of the elite, possibly using me as a conduit to redeem himself. That was a door better left closed for the time being. Whatever the case, it was clear to see where Milly inherited her sense of compassion from. At least, that’s how I saw it since I had no knowledge of her parents.

In any case, my latest appointment required a brain scan.

That made me squirm a little bit. Medical appointments were a necessary evil, regardless of one’s overall health. However, my situation went far beyond a case of possible traumatic brain injuries. I wasn’t sure if this world’s technology could detect readings of metaphysical change in someone, but I hoped there wouldn’t be any chance of finding out. The last thing I needed was to become the newest wonder of the world. But alas, there was no avoiding the doctor, even with assurances from Reuben that he’d hired one of the best physicians in Area 11.

It was highly advised that one refrain from falling asleep in the machine which, despite my drowsiness, proved quite manageable. The appointments would continue indefinitely, or at least until it was determined that I could successfully function without the constraints of a legal guardian. For the record, lying on a cold table for examination early in the morning was less of a rude awakening than being transported through space and time into a fictional universe. I busied myself with staring at the interior of the enclosure and counting back from 100 but had given up on the third time around in favor of allowing my mind to wander elsewhere. I thought of home; how many meals I had missed, the unfinished pile of books on my desk, previous obligations that would never be met like dry cleaning and work, not to mention-

Hang on

Did my world continue onwards in my absence or did it pause?

Did anyone notice that I was gone?

Was there a replica of me picking up where I left off?

Soon I began to fall down the rabbit hole of quantum theory and multiverse speculation. All I was missing was a cork board and some red string. Was it merely my consciousness or my entire soul that was now trapped inside of a new body in a new world? What was the difference? Speaking of which, was this body really an empty shell, if so, then for how long? Would the original Rai return to claim his place in the universe? Not for the first time was I presented with endless possibilities, one of which had been the most jarring:

What if none of this was real?

What if this was all a delusion?

As far as I knew, people who suffered from extreme cases of mental deterioration weren’t aware; not of themselves or their surroundings, trapped in their own mind. What if this was merely the making of my own imagination fabricated to cope with trauma, when in reality I was laid up in a wheelchair of a hospital or strapped to a bed somewhere completely immobile? What if I was dying and this was the only thing my brain could invent as result of imploding synapses?

Like a car crashing in slow motion

I hadn’t gotten very far, as sooner than I realized, I was being pulled out of the tube. The mechanical humming dissipating with a soft click. Followed by it was an announcement via speaker located at the bottom of a window separating the exam room from the other side where the doctor – Winstead if I remember correctly, a medical assistant and Reuben were likely to be situated.

“You can get dressed now, Rai. We’ve gotten all the information we need so far.”

Nodding, I slid off the table and went to retrieve my clothes folded in a chair at the corner of the room, before leaving through the door and heading to the bathroom.

No matter how many times I stared in the mirror, the same face stared back. It was more than a new face worn over my old one like a cheap Halloween mask, or semi-professional attempt at cosplay. This was seamless. Not for nothing but I was beginning to appreciate it. There was no scarring or disfiguration to speak of. The nose wasn’t too big, and the brows weren’t too heavy. Even the silver hair – with its solid roots, was growing on me. There were still aspects of this new body and its functionality that bewildered if not outright **disturbed** me, but I preferred to consider myself lucky that I could function at all. Although I still preferred my original appearance, as far as new identities went, this wasn’t the absolute worst outcome.

10 years ago, I would’ve laughed at the sheer absurdity of this. And not a chuckle either, a full-on guffaw lasting an entire minute before I could get myself under control.

After getting mostly dressed, I returned to find Dr. Winstead and Reuben Ashford present. The doctor – a broad-shouldered man, greying prematurely with a stubbled face, pinned X-rays to a lit panel while the latter offered me a nod of acknowledgment.

“You see this here?”

Glancing up from fastening my belt, I saw the doctor’s arm outstretched to point at the results of my examination. While I was never engrossed in medical practice, I knew just enough to confirm my own displeasure at seeing the difference between the result on the left and the one on the right. Dr. Winstead noticed my discomfort. Reuben stood off to my side; coat draped over his arm and brows heavy in concentration as he considered the severity of my condition.

“I know it’s difficult to understand, so let me explain…

-

Dissociative amnesia

It was a lot to unpack but I found myself agreeing with most of the explanations Dr. Winstead gave. If the body I inhabited endured some form of trauma then it would stand to reason that the brain would sustain significant neurological damage. The extent of which was questionable, considering how well I was pretending to adapt to my surroundings. Something as severe as a total loss of identity would require weeks, months or maybe even more to remain as a patient in a hospital for continuous testing. My guess was the saving grace of my own comprehensive skills and motor functions. If I were nothing more than an immobile vegetable, then the leniency of which I was given would be another issue entirely.

However, it wasn’t just the amnesia I had to deal with…

Getting a look at my official medical documents revealed that I – or rather, _Rai_ was officially of mixed heritage between Britannian and Japanese thanks in part to a DNA test. While it wasn’t noticeable at first, it made me reexamine entire conversations I’d had with Reuben and Milly. Both had to have known after the first checkup or so, yet still they treated me no differently. It would be safe to say that I needn’t worry about any negative attention from either of them since they were also acting as buffers for me.

Turns out I had more in common with Kallen than I realized.

Drawn from my thoughts, I looked over at the crimson-haired girl. Of the trio who bore the weight of a double life, she was the only one present. It was mildly amusing to witness firsthand how they seemed to rotate in and out of school. Not all of us shared the same classes, but most of the student council had been scattered throughout mine. Lelouch, Suzaku and Kallen were the biggest constants – leading me to believe that the mysterious circumstances surrounding my situation wasn’t so random.

That presented me with an idea.

Glancing aside, I took note of the girl closest to me. If I remembered correctly, she had been one of the girls gathered around Kallen when she wasn’t hanging around those of us in the council. Lavender hair framed a heart-shaped face while lips pursed in dissatisfaction at the material before her. The difference between myself and the other students (outside of the obvious) was my dedication to the coursework, whereas the others looked to be in a state of semi-boredom. Granted, I had transferred in the middle of the year without prior notice. It only made sense for _me_ to keep a steady focus.

Best to appear unassuming.

“Hey – Sophie, right?”

“Oh,” she blinked “yes?”

“Have you seen Lelouch at all, today?”

“Um, no. I haven’t really.”

“So, he’s absent. You think he’ll be here tomorrow?”

“I guess, why?” her expression puzzled at my curiosity.

“Ah, just need to know who else I can ask for help in case him or any of the others on the council are busy.”

“Why not ask them in the first place?”

I opted for a sheepish smile “good point, guess I forgot.”

Tugging on _that_ string made her just a bit uncomfortable “Well…sometimes Lelouch skips classes, though it might just be to look after his sister.”

A reasonable alibi, though the Lamperouge siblings had more clout with the headmaster than me. It had me wondering if Reuben knew about his vigilantism or if he’d been compelled to support Lelouch financially. While both siblings and the Ashford’s had been excommunicated from the imperial court, they still maintained a degree of affluency that separated them from the commoners. At least, that’s what I assumed.

But it wasn’t just Lelouch who had pulled a disappearing act. Suzaku was gone as well. Could the two of them already be engrossed in their cat and mouse game? Unlikely, or it would’ve been obvious by now. Then again, what the hell did I know? For Suzaku’s part, he’d given me the standard excuse of ‘work’ without details, trusting that it would be enough to pacify me. Privacy was something I’d always had a great respect for. At this point in time, it was as much of a necessity for me as breathing. So, perhaps I shouldn’t have been looking too deep into why Lelouch had been absent from class and questioning how often he did so. Even for someone in my position, it wouldn’t do well to overstep boundaries.

Nodding, I thanked her before returning to my coursework.

The rest of class continued uninterrupted. Honestly, I kind of missed having one of the more familiar council members at my side. Rivalz was a pretty down to earth guy, if not a little engrossed in high school politics. It wasn’t as if we all became the Scooby Gang overnight but being around them was arguably better than to be stranded someplace where I had no context of anything.

Once the bell had signaled the end of another class, I’d been too concerned with slipping everything back into my schoolbag to notice the approach of a fellow student council member.

“You’re looking for Lelouch?”

I paused upon seeing Kallen patiently awaiting an answer. It didn’t occur to me that someone as sharp as she was would’ve overheard my conversation, given that she hadn’t been sitting too far off. With a minor bit of apprehension, I fell back on my only ploy: playing dumb.

I’d been doing a decent job so far

“Er- yeah, have _you_ seen him?”

“Not today, he’s probably busy.”

“Oh. Like a job or something?” I ventured “I know Rivalz works and Shirley’s on the swim team. Milly’s got a whole school to run, so-”

“I don’t know, I’ve never really asked,” came her prim response “he always seems like he just does whatever he wants.”

To a degree, he did. Lelouch was the kind of person who knew the rules like the back of his hand, to the extent wherein he could purposefully bend or break them without consequence. Well…sometimes. Being aware of this, his haughtiness often manifested in conversations between himself and Kallen, resulting in much of her disdain for him. Me personally, I was just trying to avoid pushing her buttons.

“Sophie told me he’s taking care of Nunnally.”

She turned her gaze over to the aforementioned girl who had retreated to her own group of friends, chatting obliviously without much of a care in the world.

“Maybe. He’ll turn up eventually.”

“I mean with Suzaku absent, I figured I’d go to Lelouch for help since he tutor’s Rivalz occasionally.”

Excusing myself from the desk, I was halfway out of the now sparse classroom before Kallen fell in step by my side. Apparently, we weren’t done.

“Suzaku’s your study partner?”

“In and out of class, he helps me with homework sometimes during free period in the student council room.”

“It doesn’t bother you?”

Seconds had ticked by before I fully understood that she was referring to the proverbial elephant. I caught the careful way she spoke as we ventured down the hall, doing her best to appear as mild as her own façade allowed.

“What doesn’t?”

“Well, Suzaku’s a nice guy but he does get a lot of _attention_ despite being on the student council.”

Whether because he was accused of murdering an imperial prince or because of his ethnicity. For my part, I continued the act. My arrival came shortly after Suzaku was acquitted; I wouldn’t have been as engrossed in current events as everyone else but eventually I was caught up on the whole affair. Perhaps refusing to mention or imply any sort of racial tension was what drew both of us together so often.

“Oh…no, I don’t really think about that kind of stuff.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s my friend. I don’t see any point in avoiding him or confronting him when he’s been nothing but helpful to me. Besides, those things shouldn’t matter.”

Of course, Kallen would want to draw a line in the sand in case I turned out to be as prejudiced as some of the other students. It wasn’t difficult to see why she and Nina didn’t have the same camaraderie as she did with Milly or Shirley. From what I could tell, they were civil without being amiable, or perhaps that was how Nina acted towards mostly everyone else. Even within the student council, there were certain dynamics that led the others to settle within their own cliques. Being the new guy, I hadn’t yet found mine. Would I ever? More importantly, did I want to?

“I think he’d be happy to hear that.”

Blinking, I turned my attention back to the crimson-haired girl to my side, ignoring the glances our way from the few others who occupied the hall.

“Huh?”

If Kallen were annoyed by my momentary lapse in conversation, she didn’t indicate it “Suzaku. I think he’d appreciate what you said.”

A nice sentiment, but I remained doubtful. Although we were fair and friendly towards each other, I couldn’t be certain that my words would have any effect on him. Suzaku and I had no prior relationship to enrolling in Ashford in the way that he did with Lelouch and Nunnally.

In the way that mattered

“…I don’t know, he might.”

If I made any real effort.

Kallen had stopped short, nearly causing me to stumble upon noticing a second too late. Her attention directed towards the windows, though gaze indicated she was mentally elsewhere. To be honest, it was a bit disconcerting. Kallen was often absent for her own reasons and I was relegated to catching up on the coursework I had missed before my enrollment, often leading my focus away from building significant interpersonal relationships. It wasn’t just that we had two wildly different backgrounds but that we weren’t so aligned in any friendship that would allow for deep conversations. And why would she be concerned about Suzaku, anyway? They hadn’t grown to hate each other yet, so whatever interest she held might’ve been mild curiosity. But it still struck me as weird that she would bother to mention him in conversation with another, especially being the one to prompt the subject matter.

“Kallen?”

Her expression turned sharp, eyes narrowing only slight enough that I noticed. If I had prepared anything meaningful to say, she beat me to the punch.

“That’s still really mature of you, not a lot of people are open to thinking that way, especially around here.”

As much as it sounded like a compliment, I remained uncertain.

“Thanks. I suppose.”

Caught under her stare, I wanted nothing more than to find a way escape, given that I was at a loss for words. Whatever she was hoping to get out of our little chat escaped my knowledge, though it seemed to satisfy her. The crimson-haired girl excused herself, stepping aside and continuing to walk on elsewhere, leaving me to wonder just what all that was about.

-

Something wasn’t right

From the moment I had returned to my dorm, the atmosphere felt off. I felt a distinct tug at the back of my skull; a reminder of something forgotten, or perhaps a warning. It was unclear whether the world around me or my perception of it had gone awry.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

There was no one within the immediate area. I was alone, alone with my own thoughts. Overwhelming thoughts which continued to question the nature of the universe and my place within it. How inconvenient. Goosebumps trailed up my arms and the hair on the back of my neck prickled. With each second, I grew more aware of my pulse until the blood was pounding in my ears. Flexing a hand, I swallowed merely as an instinctual reaction and entered my temporary domain.

I was met with unearthly golden irises.

My mind – a debatably unreliable thing, could not translate my thoughts into words. Were I to personify any concept in that very moment, it would’ve been internal conflict. Confusion overwhelmed logic to a staggering degree, resulting in my foolish gaping, schoolbag dropped to the floor completely forgotten.

She was uncanny.

The witch was sprawled onto an armchair with a feline grace that would certainly turn heads, unbothered by my arrival. Despite her lime green locks falling past her shoulders and wearing some form of an exaggerated straitjacket, she looked right at home – making a stranger’s abode her own. Spending most of my time around people of different shapes and sizes (once thought to be fictional) did nothing to deter just how surreal it was to see her purely corporeal.

“I wondered which of us would find the other first. Frankly, I don’t think I would’ve noticed at all, given how inconspicuous you’ve been this whole time.”

Her diction was just as eloquent as I assumed, she was completely unafraid to articulate her thoughts and opinions. Seconds ticked by and I could only stare…that is, until her full attention was cast unto me.

“Something wrong?”

I flinched, internally chiding myself for doing so. There was a uniqueness about her that made me nervous. It hadn’t occurred to me until I was addressed that my heartbeat had picked up in anticipation, yet I was at a loss for words. How was I to talk to her? How was I to talk _with_ her? The simplest of questions were difficult. I practically fumbled for any sense of coherence.

“Um, why are you- what are you doing in here?”

“To see if I was correct.”

“Correct about what?”

“You are an unexpected factor, so I took it upon myself to investigate.”

I frowned “I haven’t done anything.”

“No,” she gave a tilt of her head “but there is _something_ about you worth noting, something that shouldn’t go unchecked.”

It occurred to me, perhaps far later than necessary that the door to the dorm was still open and my schoolbag on the floor. Seeing as I had an uninvited guest – one that was not a student, I acted quickly to correct my careless blunder, though keeping my eyes on her the entire time. The door closed with a click of the lock and the bag set down on the nearest table.

“You’ve done a decent job at adapting to your new surroundings. I hardly believe anyone would take in stride what you’ve experienced.”

Her words were cryptic, and expression betrayed nothing. So, I’d have to work a bit to figure out just what she was saying if not inferring.

“Do you…know me, er- anything about me?”

“You’re not who you say you are, this much I’m sure you’re aware of.”

“I meant-

“I know that you don’t belong here. Yours is a soul that’s traveled far beyond the world it once knew.”

.

..

…

Shit

She knew? She _knew_. But how? Why? I did my hardest to conceal any hint of being estranged from a separate world entirely – not that anyone would’ve deduced that just by looking at me. Or at least, that’s what I had told myself previously but apparently not. If C.C. knew that much, what _else_ was she privy to? She wasn’t the type of person to reveal all her secrets. Gathering any nerve I had left, I continued.

“Okay but- how is that possible?”

“I wonder…”

She sat up, boots to the carpeted floor and fist pressed to her chin as she looked to consider the situation.

“So, what are you here for? How did you even find out?”

“I felt it.”

“You…felt it?”

Her gaze slid back towards me “Allow me.”

Before I could properly react and voice alarm, the woman had stood from her comfortable lounging on the armchair. She closed our proximity in one swift motion, to which I then felt the cool press of a thumb to my forehead.

“Stay still,” was all the warning I received.

Immediately I was pulled out of the dorm with C.C. and all the familiar furnishings that made up any semblance of three-dimensional space. Form no longer mattered, it was pure stream of consciousness. An ever-shifting sea of blue that swerved this way and that. It left me dizzy. The rest was a disorienting mess of images and distorted sound that enveloped the entirety of my mind. My vision swam. The feverish dream-like haze I’d experienced not too long ago returned in full force. Vaguely did I register a faint pulse at my temples, but it was eclipsed by complete shock. Most of what I saw warped, shifted and blended together in sequence too quick for me to grasp any particular image. All except for one.

A glaring, bird-like sigil in vermillion.

Overwhelmed by the revelation, the air was practically knocked out of me and the floor came to greet me as my knees buckled. It was utterly impossible to keep from shaking, my senses frazzled. I gaped at the woman standing above me.

“What is this? What did you just do to me?!”

C.C. for her part appeared nonchalant. “You’re nesting inside of a body that already experienced the Power of Kings.”

My stomach dropped. I knew that term, dreadfully so. The power to compel other people, to bend their wills however one wanted – even on a whim. All it took was a stare and a suggestion.

“This power-

“Geass.”

“Geass,” I repeated “It’s been inside of me- _him_ , the entire time?”

C.C. shrugged “As far as I can tell.”

So, not only was I infringing on someone’s autonomy but now quite literally in possession of a supernatural power that most assuredly had something to do with Rai’s missing background. I couldn’t access his memories for a clearer perspective on what happened, yet I acquired his hidden ability.

“W-why didn’t I notice it before, when I first woke up here?”

“You wouldn’t, not with your consciousness adjusting to being mapped over someone else’s.”

“Just who are you? _What_ are you?”

“A witch.”

I couldn’t help but make a face. Even knowing her state of being to a certain extent, it proved slightly jarring to hear C.C. refer to herself as a witch.

“You may call me C.C.”

“Okay then. With everything that’s happened, did you…have something to do with this?”

The look she gave me was inscrutable; I couldn’t tell whether she was regarding me with derision or if she assumed I was completely unintelligent. It seemed a logical question to ask, considering how much of a blank state Rai was. He must’ve received his Geass from someone and with the self-proclaimed witch in front of me, it was-

“No. I didn’t bestow that power upon your host.”

Oh.

She leaned over to extend a hand. The small act of assistance baffled me, as I figured she wasn’t one to trouble herself with the haplessness of others. Perhaps it was just that. I was a hapless victim and she felt just a fraction of pity.

…no, probably not. That would be asking too much.

With a sigh, I took the offered hand and was soon back on my feet.

“Though I would be careful with it. A power like Geass isn’t something you can just misuse without repercussion.”

“What makes you think I’ll misuse it?”

“Many eventually do, intentionally or otherwise.”

Rubbing a hand over the back of my neck to smooth down the hair, I thought about the implications behind her warning and applied them to my host. Then, keeping up the act “What does it do?”

“It does as a king commands.”

“Commands, like compulsion?”

She gave a satisfied nod “Indeed.”

“Seems a bit dangerous to let someone wander around freely with this kind of power.”

C.C. scoffed at that “You’ve spent most of your time here without incident, I’m fairly certain you’re aware that causing trouble would only reflect poorly on yourself and give others reason to suspect you.”

She made an excellent point. Being a ward of the Ashford’s I couldn’t afford to do anything that would jeopardize their position and my own. Even a minor mistake could get out of hand.

“Besides, I would’ve stopped you if I thought you were a threat.”

I paused at the audacity. C.C. wasn’t usually prone to violence…though that hadn’t- wouldn’t stop her from killing Mao. Whether or not she was posturing to keep me in line, I decided it was best not to tempt fate and find out. Besides, I had more pressing matters to be concerned with.

“This is- how do I know for sure that any of this is real?”

Thinking back to my near existential crisis at the doctor’s made me shudder just a bit. The idea of being trapped in a delusion, unable to maintain clarity over the truth of what was happening around me or not, it stirred a primal fear inside me.

“What if I’m…crazy?”

It felt silly to say aloud. In fact, I sounded desperate, pathetic. Even so, this was just a bit too unbelievable to remain unquestioned. I couldn’t just accept something so wildly outlandish without searching for the man behind the curtain. Daring to look back at those uncanny eyes, I was only mildly relieved that there was no smirk or hint of amusement reflected on her face.

She did, however gift me with a single answer:

“That is a conclusion you must decide for yourself.”

-

The next couple days were a test of will.

I hadn’t used the Geass, not technically. After given the terms and services by C.C. I hadn’t seen her again. She didn’t stop by for a visit and there was no way I would go browsing for her in Lelouch and Nunnally’s suite. For now, I was on my own.

Although I was hesitant to use it, an hour of ethical reasoning hadn’t stopped me from experimenting in the mirror. After all, I needed to know _how_ it worked. Minutes of staring at the same blue eyes, squinting this way and that had finally amounted to something. A single flicker of vermillion before it disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared. Trying again and again until figuring out the right method saw that bird-like symbol come to life. It remained there in my right eye without any command while I merely stood and watched, transfixed by how seamless the reflection was.

It required direct eye contact. I could see it clearly, but would anyone else notice? There was always a red ring around the eyes of those who were under the influence, but perhaps it was only a visual indicator for the audience. In the series, Lelouch was able to trigger his without there being any confusion or alarm from the recipients.

But that was fiction, this was…something else.

Time spent in class was split between coursework and determining if any of the people around me were suitable candidates for a bit of testing. It made me feel guilty. Of course, I didn’t want to submit anyone to my will, but the ugly truth was that there would come a time that demanded it’s use. Rather than stumble my way through or leave any errors behind, I resolved to remain careful. It wasn’t a matter of wanting to, but a practical need for a contingency plan.

Which is why, on the third day after my initial encounter with C.C., I stopped in the courtyard on the way to the council room. There were plenty of students mulling about, minding their own business. They were none the wiser. It felt creepy, deciding who to pick and what to make them do. I’d almost given up when an opportunity had come strolling along in my general direction. Not one, but two students. Both boys, one of them – the stockier of the two, holding a camera.

_‘Wait, aren’t they the ones who…?’_

A single memory of harassment entered the forefront of my mind.

And then it clicked.

I made to look as casual as possible, no haste in my step as the idea began to formulate. Although I was still tethered by anxiety at the mere possibility of a mistake, and mildly intimidated by being outnumbered, the conclusion I drew overtook much of everything else.

It was a universal truth that bullies made the best guinea pigs.

Catching their attention, I put on my best sheepish impression.

“Hey, sorry to bother you like this but-

“Ugh, not again. I already dealt with the student council twice this week.”

“Don’t you guys have anything better to do?”

“Like managing this month’s fundraiser.”

Ah, there was that Britannian arrogance. It baffled me that people could behave in such a manner – and that it was just accepted by many others! But, now wasn’t the time to rue the trappings of Darwinism as it pertained to societal norms.

“Actually, I just had a question I was hoping either of you could answer.”

Tapping into the part of Rai’s mind that housed the Geass – now shared with my own, searching for that unforgettable burning vermillion symbol, I allowed the power to surface. Their bored and mildly irritated expressions changed almost instantly. There was no red ring that I could see, but their posture changed to reflect alertness, making it clear that it had worked and that I had their undivided attention.

“Sure, go ahead,” both answered in unison.

I remained mindful of the time and kept my voice just low enough for the conversation to be heard among us three “Are you the ones bullying Suzaku Kururugi?”

The bigger boy shrugged “Eh, all we did was paint over his gym uniform.”

“Yeah,” his companion added “but it’s not like he knew it was us.”

“Right, there’s nothing he can really do – being an Eleven and all.”

Bold little assholes they were, even more reason to teach them a lesson.

“Well then, I want you both to listen very carefully: do not, under any circumstances, bother him again. From now on, you’re going to leave him alone. Got it?”

There were several ways I could’ve handled this issue. I could’ve told Milly or Reuben, but with no clear evidence it would be difficult. And if either of them mentioned my concern to Suzaku, such interference might’ve pushed him away. Demanding anything of them without the assistance of Geass could’ve led to both setting their sights on me to harass, though I was positive I could’ve handled them just as well. But this? This way was far more efficient. A simple order that would see them quietly fading into the background, never to bother Suzaku again. Extending the order any further to include all Japanese people would garner suspicion, and wildly out of character if their overall behavior was to be considered. This case was better kept in moderation.

“You won’t mention this to anyone and you’re going to forget this conversation ever happened between us.”

Just to be safe.

“Sure thing.”

“You got it.”

As both boys nodded in agreement; I felt the pulse in my eye, indicating that soon the Geass sigil would disappear and the power would recede, leaving nothing but clear blue eyes. For their part, the boys only looked unimpressed by my company. The thinner of the two had been first to speak up.

“What? You need something?”

“No, it’s nothing,” I waved it off “sorry if I bothered you guys.”

Shrugging, they carried on, oblivious to what just occurred. I was left to my own devices, reveling in the aftermath of my actions. Glancing around at those who were still occupying the courtyard, I was relieved to find myself ignored. No one else saw, no one else heard, nothing. It had been as simple as a trip to the ATM. A minor use of Geass led to nothing but a desired result.

I did it.

A sense of accomplishment swelled like pride in my chest despite any attempt to temper the growing sense of satisfaction. My hands were trembling from the nervous excitement. How funny the tables had turned; from my initial resistance to the contentment of completing a single task – one that would likely better the social experience of a marginalized student. Yet, even with this, the warning given by C.C. came to mind.

_A power like Geass isn’t something you can just misuse without repercussion._

What constituted as ‘misuse’ when I was given no direction of how to properly make use of it to begin with? This power wasn’t even mine. It belonged to Rai. It was his responsibility to manage the Geass. Then again, if that were so, why wasn’t he in control of his own faculties? Why was I in the position to use it?

The mid-day breeze prompted me to brush a few stray hairs out of my face.

Once again, I fell into the idea that perhaps this was nothing more than some bizarre simulation instead of being firmly grounded in reality. I woke up in a body that held no prior memory, offered a place to stay with a solid support system and unlocked a supernatural power. Well, if this was some sort of deep mystery of the universe, then I needed to take control of the narrative that was my apparent destiny for the rest of it to unravel. Dream, delusion or something else entirely, I couldn’t spend the rest of my time in this state. There must’ve been a connection between Rai’s missing memories and the Geass. That was something I needed to figure out, if not for the sake of my own sanity, then for the purpose of restoring a part of my host that was incomplete. Living as a student might’ve been the safest option, but it would get stagnant and I’d miss out on several opportunities to acquire information that would lead me from Point A to Point B and so on.

C.C. was right, I had to decide for myself how this was going to play out and now that I had the power to do so, I would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers, it’s been a while, huh? I would like to sincerely apologize for my unannounced hiatus. Initially I caught a bad case of writer’s block for a while and didn’t feel compelled to open a word doc since. This only worsened with the pandemic. Plus, I wasn’t too happy with the structure of the earlier chapters, my pacing’s off kilter, and checking for redundancies has been somewhat of a nightmare. Obviously, anyone who’s ever followed a fic-in-progress knows how excruciating the waiting process can be for an update. Rest assured; this fic isn’t discontinued. I would at least have enough decency to leave a proper announcement if that were the case.
> 
> Fortunately, I’ve got the next few chapters outlined. I’m hoping there’s enough content in them to offset my poor scheduling habits and that another will happen within the year. Please forgive any spelling and grammatical errors, even with the editing tool I’ve considered getting a Beta reader more than once, but I think I’ll table that idea for now.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all like the newest chapter. Leave your questions, comments, and concerns in a review!

“Heads up!”

The milliseconds of anticipation held the often-elusive attention of teenagers, with bodies tense as coiled springs and eyes flickering wildly to every opponent nearby awaiting the signal for decisive action. In a single move came the echoing squeak of sneakers on the court floor, followed by shouts of excitement among hustling bodies.

Gym, no one’s favorite class. Unless, of course you were one of the people who took sport more seriously than academics, then sure whatever.

A low-stakes game of basketball I could handle, what with there being little to no metaphysical horror in dribbling a ball down the court. Although, I did still break out into goosebumps on a regular basis thanks to the strange configuration of my not-body. Given separate red and blue mesh tops over the standard polo of athletic uniforms, we were divided into teams and told to get going. Aside from playing on blue and identifying others wearing the same as me, I wasn’t entirely paying attention to the game or the score, but rather operating on autopilot, making sure to avoid getting hit in the face by an elbow, stray pass, or tripping in all the commotion. As conscious as I was to my painfully average aptitude for sports, it was unsettling how active I was. That hyperawareness I’d felt before hadn’t gone away and proved to be more of an asset than I first realized. No strain or fatigue to be felt. The properties of Rai’s body like agility and stamina far surpassed my own. Then again, much of this new form and its capabilities remained a mystery to me. It made me wonder if I would be able to catch up to someone like Suzaku in a footrace.

_‘Yeah, you wish.’_

The last thing I needed was to draw more attention than necessary by showing off, especially when I had bigger obligations to be met.

The facts were these: trapped in a world previously assumed to be fiction provided me with insights of future conflicts and the momentous opportunity to direct or change them befitting my own preferences. However, with a steady amount of time spent immersed in said world obtaining a learned grasp on the basic mechanics, I was less focused on retrofitting events than I was uncovering the sequence of them which produced Rai. I had absolutely nothing on my host other than a few half-remembered transcripts of the PSP game he originated from. It was hardly anything worthwhile when I embodied the position of player avatar, literally. The only documented proof of his existence came from those of recent medical records and student enrollment. He left no paper trail. It had me speculating if Reuben was leaving out a few details upon taking me under his wing, preferring to keep up with the image of a wholesome benefactor and legal guardian. I felt a bit guilty for suspecting him, but it stood to reason that a former aristocrat would have more than a few secrets to keep and if one of them involved me, then a healthy degree of suspicion wouldn’t hurt. Would it?

No sooner did I wonder this was I met with a slap to the shoulder as a cluster of bodies jogged past me. One student apparently fed up with my dawdling shot a glare in my direction and saw fit to voice his frustration.

“Quit messing around, Rai! We’re falling behind!”

_‘Fucking calm down, Greg.’_

Keeping up appearances – as was the usual, I hastened my movements to refrain from any more lagging.

Anyway, out of the myriad of universal questions, I could only manage to answer one. The others left me drawing the same annoying blank. I knew where I was but there was no significant discovery stemming from that. Every single time I attempted to recall memories before my transcendence – for lack of a better word, I was met with nothing. Nothing but an abstract void that left my thoughts in disarray and a minor flare of actual pain in my skull. It was like a psychic attack, a…psionic blast.

Which is where the geass came in. As far as I could tell, most geass powers enhanced the mentality of a single individual to the point of overwhelming another. The kind of ESP that would make MK-Ultra look like a justified means for paranoia. If I was being disabled via mental blockage then someone didn’t want me finding out and to the point of unravelling my memories! Maybe the presence of geass that originated with Rai offset my own mental faculties. After all, his body provided the physical element that was sorely lacking on my part. But did that then mean his mind no longer existed? The very idea of that made me shudder. There was no telling if this was done on a whim by whatever construct of the universe, or the machinations of arrogant human beings within the world I currently inhabited. It all made me more than a bit delirious.

Time to break out the red string.

C.C., for all her enigmatic tendencies told me that she didn’t do it. So, if I was going by her word as truth, then I could only assume it was the other one. V.V. already fit the bill for evil mastermind; with years of knowledge and hundreds of resources, someone as duplicitous as him would have little difficulty in using another person like a toy. However, Emperor Charles also had the ability to rewrite memories. He had no qualms about doing so to his own son, who’s to say he wouldn’t do it to someone else?

Well, that was a terrifying thought.

The possibility that both the Britannian Emperor and his immortal brother could’ve mind-wiped Rai was greater than one would’ve expected. Going a step further, they could’ve been behind my diaspora given all else they were controlling and manipulating. But then the question turned to why?

“Rai!”

Glancing up in time to see the ball headed my way, I held up my hands and easily caught it, the synthetic composite of leather and rubber smacking perfectly into my palms. With too narrow of a space to pass it to my nearest teammates, I took a chance and dribbled down the court to meet them halfway, feeling lighter on my feet than I had been years prior. Careful to avoid any swipes from the other players, I went for an overhead pass which thankfully landed into the hands of another player sporting a blue top. Our team was rewarded with a swish of the net followed by a few righteous cheers. I was too distracted to celebrate, looking down at my hands, flexing them to lessen the tingling feeling.

Huh, I used to be left-handed. Weird.

Well, if I was stuck here forever, at least I could have a promising career as an athlete.

I hustled back down the court, halfheartedly following the path of the bouncing orange ball while regaining focus on the previous train of thought.

V.V. and Charles were the likely suspects, but too far out of reach for a confrontation. The former had a network of spies and devotees brainwashed to do his bidding, and the latter well…he ruled an entire third of the world with an iron fist. This was of course forgetting that they were in possession of some ancient magical ruins or whatever that ethereal mind palace thing was. Then again, it was arrogant or even stupid of me to assume that I could pose any sort of threat to the two of them. Currently, I was still a nervous wreck trying to maintain the cover of ‘new transfer student’ to my peers. My, or rather – _Rai’s_ geass was a significant aid but it wouldn’t be enough if I had no way of utilizing it to further myself.

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, scowling at the unfairness of it all. Where was I even supposed to start?

There was always the option of asking C.C. for more information, but as it stood, I had no way of getting in touch with her. I knew that she was on school grounds, but most of her time was spent aiding and abetting Lelouch on his personal crusade. I couldn’t exactly ask her to join mine. There was also no telling if she would even agree to reveal what she did or didn’t know. Maybe I could bribe her with pizza?

A hilarious proposal, but it wouldn’t do much good.

I had to start out small, then work my way up.

Trying to recover memories required more than a visit to the doctor. Rai’s were intrinsically tied to his geass, evidenced by how the power had been locked inside of him while I was occupying his body. But while I had access to his power, every other part of him remained elusive. There weren’t any official records of him until I came along and became a ward of the Ashfords. No birth certificate, no fingerprints, dental records, nothing in any of the government databases. Well, none that I knew of. This meant I had to figure out who he really was. If I could do that, uncover more secrets of Rai’s past, then maybe it would lead me further.

-

Given the size of the academy, one would think that attending classes proved more difficult when students had to cross from one quad to another in-between the bell. I had to remind myself more than once that this wasn’t the kind of institution I’d been familiar with. Everything from the schedules to the classes themselves were an interesting arrangement. I noticed that despite the obvious dismissal of traditional Japanese customs, the format of Ashford had strangely reflected the way that schools in Japan were run. Whether this was due to the production of the series itself, or in the case of Reuben Ashford being far more open-minded regarding how he ran his academy, I wouldn’t look for any deeper meaning. Especially when there were other things to occupy my time and attention.

“Hey, zoom in!”

Speaking of which

Gym had ended and I was making my way through the quad when the excitement of fellow students caught my attention. A cluster of four or five, though none of which were faces I recognized from homeroom, were huddled around one boy seated on a bench and peering over his shoulder at a laptop.

“Move over, I can’t see!”

“Damn, the footage is too grainy.”

Normally I wasn’t so nosy and even holding a passing interest at what others were doing was few and far between. Given the situation, however, a little exploration here and there wasn’t out of the question. Why not see what the background characters were up to? I _was_ an amnesiac after all. Only a few of them spared a glance at my approach before returning their attention to the laptop screen.

“What’s going on?”

“Another terrorist attack,” replied an auburn-haired boy.

Indeed, it was. Standing off to the side, I was allowed a decent view of the news report. Live footage via helicopter and satellite cameras displayed the ghetto known as Saitama in low resolution. Knightmare frames could be see moving around the ruined terrain, clouds of black smoke arising from charred buildings. Even the audio picked up the distant pop of gunfire. Being surrounded by luxury made it difficult to believe that I was living in the middle of a major conflict.

“It’s Shinjuku all over again.”

“You’d think they’d just give up by now, with all the people they’re losing.”

Another student, this time a girl with her indigo hair tied back in a ponytail “Yeah, but that guy Zero showed up! Ever since the orange incident-

“Just some weirdo in a costume who got lucky. He’ll get snuffed out eventually, especially with Princess Cornelia in position as Viceroy now.”

Now that caught my attention.

If Cornelia was here and leading the charge against native insurrections, that meant Lelouch either had or hadn’t made his first attempt to challenge her. The Black Knights, they weren’t publicly established yet, were they? Glancing at the group of students around me, I decided to test the waters.

“You guys don’t think Zero would pull something dangerous with her around, do you?”

One boy scoffed “He’d have to be a total lunatic to go up against the princess.”

“You mean he isn’t already?” another replied.

“Yeah but,” I ventured further “he killed Prince Clovis.”

The boy with the laptop gave me an incredulous look, I held it for a few seconds before looking back to the news broadcast on his laptop. The state funeral must’ve been a week ago or sometime before I arrived, which meant the wound was still relatively fresh. I may have had no personal connections or loyalty to the Britannian Imperial Family, but that didn’t mean I could afford to be so blunt with my opinions. Still, it would’ve been hard to get a consensus on the socio-political opinions of the other students if all I did was sit back and observe.

“Well,” the girl with the ponytail spoke up “Clovis wasn’t a General like Princess Cornelia. She’s got an elite military force behind her.”

“Not to mention the success of her recent campaign in the Middle east,” added the auburn-haired boy.

“The Elevens already lost the war. Now they’re just fighting out of habit because they’re too stubborn to surrender.”

“Whatever Zero has planned, it won’t be long before he’s caught.”

Little did they know just how resilient the man behind the mask was.

Tuning them out, I left the group without a word. There wasn’t much I was going to learn from them, not as things were, anyway. It did annoy me on some level at how easily they took it in stride – the blatant misuse of power. Some of them could at least pretend to be disturbed at the amount of lives lost. Was every Britannian outside of the secondary characters this comically apathetic? Was there no variation of opinion or was it the trappings of growing up surrounded by Darwinist rhetoric? If this was the overall attitude in the Britannian colonies, one could only imagine how the general public of the homeland viewed the situation. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself due to preconceived notions, but I wasn’t about to have a political debate with my fellow students and draw further attention to myself. The last thing I needed was to be branded as a ‘traitor’ or ‘sympathizer’ when I had better things to do.

Trouble in Saitama meant a loss for Lelouch. There hadn’t been any breaking news or live footage of Zero within the ghetto, but nothing about the capture of an exiled prince either. Everything was going according to schedule, but for how long? I was the exception to canon, which meant the possibility of derailing several plotlines both major and minor. With or without my geass, I could influence others, lead them down different paths if I wanted to. The problem was that I couldn’t do anything just as a student. I’d need to shuffle certain things around with more than the resources available to me presently. I had foreknowledge in my favor and a mind-altering power. However, even with it, I wouldn’t have been able to do much. Not by myself anyway. I didn’t have the support of an insurrection like the Black Knights, just the safeguard of a former noble house – of which I admittedly knew so little about. And while any kind of proximity to wealth (past or present) was impressive, it meant nothing if I didn’t know how to use it to my advantage correctly.

On that note, I needed more practice in using the geass.

It was safe to assume that whatever happened to Rai was the fault of the Britannian Empire, which meant a natural opposition towards it. What I needed was information and even without previous documentation, I had the sneaking suspicion that any record of Rai must’ve been buried deep. It didn’t explain the absence of his memories, though that could also be chalked up to the meddling of either Charles or V.V. However, uncovering that kind of secrecy required the skill and precision of a trained agent – of which I was not.

But certain people were. Those in the Geass Directorate.

I was almost positive that none of them were stationed in Area 11, given that Rolo Lamperouge didn’t make his official appearance until after Lelouch’s capture and that would be weeks if not months from now. Granted, it was a secret society governed under the Britannian Empire, so it wouldn’t be out of the question if any of their members were-

“Son of a bitch.”

I glanced around to see if anyone around had heard me, before chasing my train of thought. It all came forward in a rush, the image of an overweight man wearing a monocle, his expression always frustrated or worried as he hurried back and forth, ushering his subordinates to work.

General Bartley

He was scattered all throughout the series, though remaining roughly in the background. A character crucial to the lore and greater secrets withheld from everyone right up until it was Lelouch’s turn to uncover the truth. The man behind Jeremiah’s cybernetics and the Code-R Research Team. Who knows what inhuman experiments him and his group of mad scientists conducted on C.C.? But in this case, I wasn’t dealing with some nameless bystander of unimportance. This man had a rank and title – although that was debatable following the death of an imperial scion, but he still held some sort of authority, maybe even followers. Disgraced or not, that bastard had his hands in every shady dealing behind the scenes. If anyone had the information I needed, it was him!

The task of reaching him, however, would require a handful of favors.

Fortunately, I knew just the man to see.

-

It wasn’t as if I was given free reign to just barge in on the headmaster whenever I wanted. Rather, being in the position of my legal guardian saw Reuben Ashford allowing me just a hint of leniency that few other students were rarely afforded.

Where I had been anticipating the weathered and wizened face of the Ashford headmaster sitting behind his desk, did I find the figure of his granddaughter instead. She was leaning against the polished wood, turning away from placing the corded phone back onto it’s hook. To her credit, the blonde girl looked just as stunned to see me as I was of her.

“Milly? Wha-

“What are you doing here, Rai?” she recovered quickly, raising a fine eyebrow.

“I needed to talk to your- to the headmaster.”

“He’s busy right now. Was it urgent?”

“No. It can wait until later.”

I shook my head. It would’ve spoke better had I at least put in a request with the secretary before coming, though it appeared she had been occupied in the copy room, allowing me to slip by. Now I had to pivot in a different direction, being in the company of the student council president, whose face shifted to an uncharacteristically melancholy expression. I could’ve simply excused myself and gone to class, but a nagging feeling told me to stay.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” she waved “I’m fine.”

Being well acquainted with those words and the façade that often accompanied them, I could tell that she was anything but. Clearly there was something on her mind, evidenced by how she hadn’t pulled any hint of a fake reassuring smile.

“…are you sure?” I ventured.

She stared at me and I was reminded of how awkward eye contact was. I liked to think I didn’t squirm, but the universe was seemingly against me in all other factors.

“Not to intrude or anything, I just- It looks like you could use someone to talk to. Or listen.”

“My mother called.”

Huh. Is that why Reuben had stepped out, a personal call?

“She and I had a rather lengthy discussion about certain duties to be upheld within the family. Certain expectations that require my cooperation.”

It looked like she was trying to talk around the issue, but I had a fair idea of what had been bothering her. Arranged marriage was a tricky subject to navigate. Without much prompting, I set aside my schoolbag on the armchair next to the door and came to lean on the desk beside her. It might’ve been a misstep on my part; a small gesture meant to imply reassurance and undivided attention, but Milly gave no indication of discomfort. Briefly did I consider the probability that I was missing class in favor of lingering alongside a fellow classmate, but it didn’t matter much.

“It’s been an ongoing debate and my parents aren’t too fond of my avoiding the situation every chance I get. It’s…improper,” she ran a hand through her hair “since I’m an only child, the responsibility falls to me. And the older I get, the more that window of opportunity closes.”

“Opportunity,” I parroted.

The word felt wrong, even in the right context.

“Marriage opportunity,” she clarified.

Assuming I could fill in the details, she didn’t elaborate further. I doubted whether Milly believed I had the solution to her problem or the right words to say. Even so, it only felt reasonable that I offer comfort.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Unless you can see to it that I no longer must follow my family’s tradition along with societal expectations, I highly doubt it.”

Right, stupid question. Better try another angle.

“Is this- does this happen for everyone?”

She looked contemplative for a moment “It’s not as common anymore, but certain Britannian families still carry on with it.”

It made me wonder if Milly would’ve gotten her own personal pick of suitors in however amount of time she wanted if her family had retained their royal status.

Fairly sure that was in an AU I once read.

“It’s just something that must be done in order for the Ashfords to progress,” she continued “we’re not what we used to be, not by a long shot. And with the current state of affairs, it’s a wonder that my parents haven’t decided to bring me back to the homeland to settle all of this. I suppose they’re waiting for me to graduate for the sake of completion.”

A year and a half with as many as a handful of suitors on what I assumed was a monthly basis. Yeesh, I knew people who speed dated with less urgency.

“I really didn’t mean to tell you any of this. It’s not a problem you can solve.”

I frowned. That might’ve been the case, but she was well within her rights to feel the situation unfair and complain about it to anyone who would listen, if not support her. I was in no position to judge, I was a pleb. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t offer an olive branch, did it? I still wasn’t too sure where the boundaries were in terms of friendship, but it didn’t seem like I had been excluded from the bunch just yet. Milly wasn’t as forward with her emotions as Shirley, though not as closed off as Nina. She made for a healthy medium between the two. However, with this glimpse underneath the surface, I was beginning to find new facets to the student council president.

“No, I think it’s good that you told someone how you really feel. Even if it’s just me.”

It was hard to gauge what exactly she was thinking, but the softening of her features made for a good enough sign of understanding. I didn’t spot any more nervous tics; she wasn’t messing with her hair and didn’t look as rigid and closed off as she did before. Still, I couldn’t help but ask-

“No one else knows?”

“The rest of the student council are aware enough, but I don’t make my grievances known.”

Thought so. Propriety and all that. Surely Shirley knew, probably Nina, and Rivalz would try his best to remain subtle about his feelings on the matter. With Lelouch it was an absolute certainty. Kallen and Suzaku might’ve been filled in, but they had other arguably more pressing matters to be concerned with. Logically I would be the last to know.

“In any case-

“Your secret is safe with me.”

I caught her gaze again, this time willing myself to remain steady. If nothing else, I had to remain earnest. It was as corny of a line as ever, but nothing else came to me. However superficial it might’ve seemed to anyone else, an heiress and her troubling future of an arranged marriage, Milly wasn’t a bad person. Even she should’ve been allowed an outlet for her frustration, an ear to listen. I found that I didn’t mind being that ear so much, it gave me more insight to the people around me. And apparently, indicated by a distinct sigh of content, neither did she.

“I appreciate it, Rai.”

-

So, I ended up missing the live coverage of Zero’s appearance in Saitama. With more than a second thought, it was probably better that I didn’t see it. I was never a fan of the news in general. With living in an occupied territory, it wasn’t unreasonable for me to think that certain broadcasts held their biases regarding reports of the Japanese activity within the ghettos. That, and I was a bit nervous about catching sight of bodies on stretchers or in bags. I didn’t need to see what was ultimately a brief appearance of Zero.

Speaking of, in the wake of his loss at Saitama, Lelouch was even more intense than the others might’ve realized. It was the way that he carried himself did I notice his internal frustration, manifesting in moments of a set brow or tensed jaw, usually when the attention wasn’t on him. Though I stuck to my own tactic of keeping my head down, I couldn’t help but sneak a few glances at him during classes. It was beyond weird, knowing bits and pieces of what was going on inside of a person’s head when they were feet from you almost every day. There was no separation of fiction and reality anymore. No longer privy to his inner monologue, if I asked him a question he would answer as varied as a regular person instead of a visual novel.

Even with the daily reminder that the people I interacted with were in fact real people and not fictional characters, it hadn’t yet dispelled the sense of unease I felt. Part of me wanted to stand amongst them and engage like some kind of twisted roleplaying scenario, while another part of me wanted to stand as far away from them as possible and observe. I was stuck in between action and inaction, which earned me more than one worried look on occasion. Was this what it was like to dissociate? More than anything, I wanted to talk to C.C. as she was the only one who could offer more insight, but she was nowhere to be found! It often led to my wandering around the campus in hopes of an encounter and nearly getting lost in the process, such as an embarrassing afternoon spent in the junior high library, for which Shirley had to come and find me. I had yet to check the roofs and the basement levels, but that would arouse far too much suspicion that I wasn’t willing to use my geass Thus, I resolved to stick to many of the places I’d been familiarized with on my first tour, eventually ending up sitting on the grand staircase of the clubhouse.

“Is that…Rai?”

That voice

I leaned forward to see Nunnally being wheeled in by Sayoko. Strange that I hadn’t heard their approach. Then again, the Japanese maid maintained an impressive degree of skill in stealth. Uncertain if bowing was an appropriate gesture, I stood up from the stairs and offered her a small nod of acknowledgement before giving my undivided attention to the younger girl.

“Yeah, it’s just me. Hi Nunnally.”

“Hello,” she greeted “It’s nice to see you again. Were you busy?”

“No, not really,” I shook my head “I was Just checking out the clubroom. The school’s so big, I didn’t get a chance to see it until now.”

“It’s better when there’s a party going on. I hope you’ll be able to attend some.”

“Well, I’m settled in for the rest of the year, so that looks like the case.”

“That’s good.”

No doubt if I stayed long enough, I would see a few gatherings here and there. If the formal clothes Milly had bought me were any indication, then it was possible I’d be attending an actual dance. Not sure if I was thrilled about that. Scratching at my neck, I searched for a topic away from any potential pomp and circumstance.

“So, what are _you_ doing around here? I mean if that’s okay to ask.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I wanted a bit of fresh air,” her head raised to indicate the spaciousness “Actually, my brother and I live around here.”

“In the…suite?”

“Yes. The headmaster felt it came with the accommodations we needed.”

“Sounds comfy.”

She giggled; her lips curved into a smile. I took that as a good enough sign to approach, mindful of the distance between us.

“Where is Lelouch, anyway? I figured you two would hang out after classes.”

“We used to, but he’s been busy lately. Sometimes he and Rivalz would go off campus together. I thought with Suzaku here we’d have time, but I suppose he has other things to do as well.”

Whether the disappointment in her voice was apparent or not, I knew that she was lonely. Lelouch and Suzaku were two of the most important and influential people in her life, the decrease in their downtime together would only continue. However, the reality of it brought forth an idea.

“Nunnally.”

“Yes?”

“If you want, I don’t mind spending time with you.”

“Really?”

“Sure,” I shrugged “I’m not busy at all.”

She seemed comfortable enough chit-chatting, and I had plenty of time to spare. Not only would it be a fine way to keep from being alone with my thoughts, but it would hopefully allay her boredom. Soon enough I was sitting opposite the young girl at one of the clubroom tables, a tea set arranged between us. Though I had never been much of a tea person – my preferred drink being coffee, I wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to try anything authentic, whether it was a Japanese or Britannian blend. I kept up as much politeness towards Sayoko as was appropriate while listening to Nunnally regale her time at Ashford, from memories of the student council to her current days spent with her best friend Alice, she even began teaching me origami.

An assortment of colorful paper crafts populated the table; anything from complex cranes and frogs to simple boats and flowers. Of course, Nunnally had an easier time with them than myself, as I took my time through a particularly tricky tulip while trying not to look inept. It had been a long time since I tried my hand at origami. The result of years without practice was surprisingly mediocre instead of flat out terrible. It was a small victory I could live with, if only to keep my hands busy.

As I folded my fourth flower – it occurred to me how poised the young girl was in front of me. I might’ve just been one person, but for Nunnally I was a guest. From the way she spoke to her table manners, it occurred to me that she really was a former princess and not just a disabled girl. Lelouch had an air of poshness to go with his intellectual disposition that fit well among other wealthy Britannian students. I was used to that by now, but his younger sister didn’t quite behave like other students. I hadn’t noticed in the beginning but sitting with her and holding polite conversation clued me in on certain aspects of her disposition that were unseen in the series. It was such a grace that reminded me of Milly.

I held out the finished flower for her to feel, paper gently brushing against her fingers.

“What do you think?”

“A tulip?”

“Yeah.”

Her smile was playful “you’re better at flowers.”

“Well, I have a great teacher.”

“Why thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome.”

An afternoon spent enjoying tea and doing papercraft might not have been on the agenda, but it sure did the trick for my nerves. Nunnally seemed not to mind at all that I didn’t offer as much in the way of my own personal insights of daily life and activities. I kept up as much as I could without being too cagey. It helped that she didn’t pry.

“I like making animals more. Especially the cranes. Did you know that if you fold a thousand of them, you’ll be granted a wish?”

“Really, just one wish?”

“Yes. Just one.”

It felt like a scene on replay, only this time I sat in place of her brother. A poor substitute if you asked me. I wasn’t the puzzle piece that fitted so neatly in place like Lelouch or Suzaku, and I doubted a fourth member of their dynamic would be well received at this point in their lives. At best I was only a tertiary character that would fade into the background, come some of the more important events.

“So, how many have you folded?”

“Um, around fifteen so far. I don’t want to rush.”

“Good idea. It’ll give you more time to think of what you want to wish for.”

“Oh, I already know what I want to wish for.”

I eyed the colorful batch of origami littered upon her end of the table. Despite knowing the answer, I couldn’t help myself.

“Mind if I ask what it is?”

Her smile was shy “I wish for a kinder world.”

Not a bad way to spend a wish. A world influenced by kindness did a lot for the benefit of humanity. If only it were easy to wish it into being.

“What would _you_ wish for, Rai?”

A loaded question unbeknownst to her. In the moment I would’ve wished for a restored memory, my own body, or to simply return home without difficulty, but those were just the standard knee-jerk responses of a desperate man. Recent experience told me that I couldn’t afford to be flippant about wishing, due to the very real possibility of it going awry and landing myself in another unpleasant situation.

The universe was a cruel mistress, and I wasn’t daft enough to spurn her like an unfaithful lover.

Man, melodramatic much?

Leaning back in my chair, I sighed “…I don’t know.”

Nunnally must’ve sensed the anxiety I was feeling or heard it in my voice, as she leaned forward and carefully held out a hand.

“Well, will you tell me once you’ve figured it out?”

In any other circumstance I would’ve been grateful for a hand to hold, steadying me in my moment of need. Instead, my mind was a running monologue of denial, knowing that it wouldn’t mean much and that the girl sitting across from me was up until weeks ago decidedly fictional. But that simply wasn’t the truth anymore. We weren’t separated by a screen; she wasn’t made up of pixels and voiced by someone in front of a microphone. I could reach out and touch her and that was the problem. I glanced up to see if Sayoko would allow me so close to her charge, but the expression on her face was so inscrutable that she could’ve given C.C. a run for her money. Taking that as a sign of allowance, I accepted Nunnally’s offer of what I presumed was friendship and slid my hand into her grasp.

“Of course.”

-

Fact: math sucked no matter what reality you were in. Multiple integrals? No thanks. Imaginary numbers? Absolutely not.

It was a miracle that I wasn’t taking a remedial class. Even as I was past the point of being worried what my classmates would think of my apparent dyscalculia, having them take turns to help me complete homework or prep for a test was a tad disheartening. Worse than that was the lack of anyone to help at all, which is how I ended up struggling through a section of pre-calc. The idea of doing homework in my dorm presented as less than appealing, especially on the weekend, but seeing as how there was no one else around, I wasn’t left with much to do.

I certainly wasn’t ready to go into the settlement by myself.

Where the hell was everybody anyway? I never thought I’d be annoyed at the prospect of having no one on campus to hang out with. Lelouch, Suzaku and Kallen were to be expected when it came to missing classes. I had seen them scattered throughout earlier in the week as with everyone else. Rivalz was either working his usual hours or off finding entertainment of his own. But for Milly, Shirley, and Nina to be absent? Maybe it was selfish of me to want them around only for the sake of diverting attention from my inner monologue, but being alone with my own thoughts for so long without a distraction of any sort had me worried about the ‘unique’ state of my mental health. I wasn’t at the point of staring at the walls and muttering gibberish, but a stress-induced headache wasn’t out of the question.

By the time I considered finding Nunnally for another tea party such as the other day, I had already finished up every piece of homework that was due. Running through the list of possible things I could’ve done, hardly any of them seemed worthy of interest and most just fell under the category of wandering the campus. Pass. Though, I could’ve embarked on my search for a certain green-haired witch without the presence of the student council asking questions, but that was easier said than done. I’d have to find the opportunity at a point where I knew she’d be alone. Laying back on my bed, hands folded behind my head, I frowned. I missed the slow burn mundanity of my old life, less of an existential nightmare and more of a standard collection of moments expected of a mild-mannered individual, with the occasional bout of pizazz. The comfort of dicking around with friends on the weekend was long gone and replaced with keeping up appearances while simultaneously trying to uncover the secret behind my messed-up situation. I was the protagonist of my own journey, only now with the bonus of living in a heightened reality that involved superpowers and giant robots. Except, I wasn’t the typical anime protagonist.

If it were only a missing memory, that would be one thing, but possessing the body of someone else brought with it more questions and complications that distinguished me from a handful of characters by comparison. Even within the world I currently inhabited, I was nothing like Lelouch and Suzaku. But that was the point, wasn’t it? I didn’t fit. I wasn’t the cold, calculating anti-hero burdened by familial transgressions, nor was I the conflicted idealist desperately trying to atone for past mistakes. I wasn’t at the center of a conflict or the linchpin of any plot in the overarching narrative. So, where did that leave me? Without access to Rai’s background or insight to both his mentality and personality, the only characteristics I had were my own and even then I had to take special care to supplant them with those that would be seen as believable from an amnesiac nurtured in the environment he’d awoken, guided and influenced by the people around him.

Oh, The Mysterious Waif.

I sat up. Unsettled by the implications behind my newfound realization, I decided it was as good of a time as ever to set up my laptop.

One of the many things purchased during my first and only trip into the commercial district of the Tokyo Settlement. I wondered if asking Nina to help me install a VPN was an option, though it might’ve raised some eyebrows. Was it reasonable to suspect Britannia of surveillance or just paranoia? Both seemed just as plausible.

Two hours of trial and error later, I was up and browsing the internet. A passing curiosity about Britannia’s arts and entertainment industry led me down a virtual rabbit hole from article to article comparing the differences between this world and my own. There came a small degree of satisfaction knowing that reality television was more of a niche than ubiquity. From there, I did some digging in the literary circles to see what constituted as popular 21st century works of fiction. Hilariously enough, Richard Bachman seemed to be alive and flourishing in the fantasy genre.

“Still overrated,” I scoffed.

Enough time spent online saw my descent into watching interviews of literary scholars, to reading about the importance of Shakespeare within modern society. I was never a fan of the latter, but the widespread acclaim was hard to ignore. It proved to be more interesting and worth exploring what society took from his writing in an alternate reality. Plus, we were reading Hamlet in English class, to my own astonishment.

Eventually, an idea struck. Taping ‘geass’ across the keyboard, I was brought to a page entitled _Geis_ of various Gaelic spellings. It occurred to me that I’d never once bothered to look up if it were a real thing or not, prior to my transmigration. I always figured that it was just another made-up name because Taniguchi wanted something that sounded cool. Pure ignorance on my part. However uncertain I was of my findings, the comparisons drawn to that of a vow or curse caught my attention along with mention of its primary roots in Irish mythology. Granted, it was all speculation on my part, but proved to be enough that I would need to bring it up with C.C., as the questions were stacking up and I was getting antsy.

I could’ve spent all day on the internet, but the sudden buzz of a cell phone demanded my attention. Scrambling off the bed to find it, I rooted behind the pillows, under the sheets and through my school bag before finally retrieving it underneath the small pile of my homework on the dresser. Briefly wondering why flip-phones were still in use, I checked the caller ID to find Rivalz’s name listed. Selecting the callback option, I glanced at the clock on my laptop and thought to ask if he could make personal calls during work hours or using his lunch break wisely. The dial tone rang thrice before I heard him pick up.

“Hello?”

What greeted me was a rush of words in a strained voice. Broken sentences failed to help in clarifying anything.

“Wait, slow down! Rivalz, _slow down!_ What’s going on?”

“Check the news, it’s bad!”

Setting the phone to speaker, I brought up another tab. Still jarred to find BIGLOBE relevant, I then made a point to bookmark the homepage. Although, I _was_ living in Japan. I shouldn’t have been so surprised. The series seemed to play fast and loose with its references and inclusion of recognizable services and brands, right down to popular restaurant chains and other international franchises.

“Do you see it?” his tone was urging.

I did. Scrolling down the screen were various alerts of breaking news. I clicked on a recent video bearing shot of a luxury resort which wouldn’t have been too out of the ordinary, if not for the array of combat vehicles including knightmare frames parked in front of the entrance. Bridges were drawn, preventing ground entry from multiple sides except for the one. All other routes were sectioned off, officers stationed to keep civilians and media crew out of harm’s way. Among the crowd of people shown was a middle-aged man with auburn hair speaking into the microphone thrust into his face, forehead creased with worry as he lamented the safety of his daughter. The crawl at the bottom of the video was moving faster than I could keep up with, bilingual subtitles skittering across the screen. However, the heading read clear as day.

HOSTAGE CRISIS AT LAKE KAWAGUCHI HOTEL

The memory of a trip to the settlement flashed through my mind.

_‘…I meant to get in some extra shopping before our trip anyway.’_

And suddenly it clicked. The absence of a particular group of girls drew forth a horrifying conclusion.

“Oh shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _TBC_


End file.
